A guy crashed his Ford SUV. He couldn't escape.
Hey girl, are you a wizard? Because you cast lit in my Final Fantasy!
You mom.
There were three people on the third floor of a building. The first one took a bite of an apple, then said it was too hard, so he threw it out the window. The second person took a bite of a lemon. He said it was too sour, so he threw it out the window. The third guy was drunk. He took a bite of a grenade and thought it was too crunchy, so he threw it out the window.
Then one of them went downstairs. He saw a dog laying on the ground dead. The apple had hit the dog in the head. Then there was a little girl crying with her cat in her lap. It had died because the lemon fell out the window and hit it in the head. Next, there was an old guy laughing. I asked him why he was laughing. He said, "I farted and the building behind me blew up."
Can an orphan go to a family restaurant?
I'm a big fan of white boards. I find them... Remarkable.
wanna hear a joke? tin
I got mad at my sister's boyfriend, so I fucked his girl.
Someone raped my ear, now I have hearing aids.
You're walking into a bar and you see 2 younger kids around 18. You call the manager to have them removed, but no one came down.
Later that night, you see the 2 18-year-olds, 1 was a girl and the other was a boy, so you call the manager down. No one came again. You confront them and tell them to leave, but one turns around and hits you. You are knocked out on the floor. When you wake up, there is a hard feeling in your a**. You turn your head around and there is an autistic girl with a strap-on in your a** going full on hard.
Mom, I’m pregnant.
Are you drunk? Why? Because you’re boy.
Travis has baby hands.
Okay, so I ate an apple and it tasted good.
Why did Bob fall? Because gravity was mad at him.
My grandpa died in 9/11. I was told his last words were "Allahu Akbar."
My grandpa said I'm too reliant on technology... so I screamed that he was a hypocrite and I unplugged his life support.
Why did the boy get run over?
Sally was driving.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Someone pulled his ethernet cable (he died of a blue screen)!
Plane versus plane. Who wins? Plane.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, How many bananas can I fit, Maybe two?
