Why can't melons get married?
Because they cantaloupe.
I heard an unusual word the other day: "Opaque."
Unfortunately, what it means is unclear.
Yo mama so fat, she the iceberg.
My brother has a fucking ass and I wake up to him twerking.
What do cows read? The moospaper!
Why did Obama marry Michelle?
Because he's into chicks with dicks.
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FCC’s
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What do you call a skeleton's egg?
An egg-i-BONE!
What do you call a skeleton's omelet?
A bonelet.
I would never kill an animal. I'm more of a people person.
I was voting for Trump in the 2016 election. It's been a while since the last presidential assassination...
TDS? More like STDs.
TDS - Too Damn Slow!
Why did the bone go on a blind date? He was bonely.
Why is the sun so attractive? Because it is burning hot!
I was in the car, and I got out and saw a deer walking sexy, and I'm like, "What the..."
What starts off fun and ends in bankruptcy?
UNPROTECTED SEX.
One volcano said, "Is that you, Qs? I am hot."
Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says, "Phew, it's hot in here." The other muffin says, "OMG, a talking muffin!"
Why do orphans go to church?
So they have someone to call father.
