Worst Jokes Ever
Have you heard about my new can crushing job?
It's soda-pressing.
I made a pencil with two erasers. It was pointless.
Ur mum smells like shit, yeah, so she sucks a man off and washing machine. Yo, don’t at me, yeah, you chicken breath.
When I was in 4th grade, we wrote letters to kids in the hospital. I wrote: "It is a bumpy road but soon it will be a straight path." Not many people know I was talking about their heart monitor.
When I go to weddings, old people will tell me I'm next, but when I go to funerals, I tell old people they're next.
What was Stephen Hawking's mother's name?
Ilean.
I felt a window break once. It was pane-full!
Chuck Norris decided to sell his urine as an energy drink, which you now know as Red Bull.
What’s the difference between Isaac Newton and my Dad?
Isaac Newton didn’t beat me half to death with a pipe wrench.
I suck my dick.
Why did the Pikachu say "Pi"??
He had to use the bathroom!
How did the orphan become famous? They said, "Go big or go home."
I took a pole today. 100% of the people in the tent were unhappy that it collapsed.
What's a pirate's favorite key on the keyboard?
Others: R.
Rrrr, you would think so, but it be the C.
Why is Peter Pan always flying?
Because he Never lands.
Do chiropractors have to pay back taxes?
Only when they file jointly.
We gotta work ahead, people!
How much work does a skeleton get done?
A SKELE-TON!
Aunt: Stop telling the kids Santa isn't real.
Me: Stop telling them their dad is going to get milk.
What did the blind kid get for Christmas? He hasn’t seen it yet...
What did the kids with no arms get? He doesn’t know, he’s still trying to figure out how to open it. :))))