Worst Jokes Ever

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Orange who?

Orange glad I didn’t say banana. Hahaha, you’re right, I hate that guy!

What did they call Susan B. Anthony when she was sleeping on the job?

Snoozin' B. Anthony!

How did the orphan die?

Of sadness.

Sign on my attorney's office wall: "You can't have manslaughter without laughter."

I was 11 or 12 at the time.

Guy (passing me): "How are you doing?" Me, an autist: "Pretty bad honestly." Guy (continued walking past me) Me: ...

If you didn’t know, “what’s up” and “how are you doing” are phatic expressions in the United States, meaning that they’re said as greetings even though they literally mean something else.

What is the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?

Only one of them stops sucking after you slap it.

I have OCD and ADD, so everything had to be perfect...but not for long.

I have OCD and ADD, so everything has to be perfect... but not for very long.

What time should you go to bed when it's bedtime?

They didn't have a category for Bald, so I chose the Bald Eagle.

Did you know that bald people have an endless forehead?

They say people are 75% water.

But I'm 100% useless.

What do you call a un-funny rock?

A normal rock.

Two guys are on a plane. One of the guys' name is Jack. The other is Peter.

Peter: "Hi Jack."

Flight Attendant: "You're going to hijack the plane?!?"

Jack: "No, my name is Ja-"

Flight Attendant: "Everybody stay calm! These two men are going to hijack the plane!"

Jack: "No, no. My name is Jack and my friend here is an idiot."

F66666666666666666666666666

I feel bad for shopping carts. They're always being pushed around.

*insert pun here*

What do you call a man off the ground?

Hanged.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because North Korea's long-range missiles can't reach that far.

What do you say when your brother has too many jeans?

"Gene-ious!"

What is a chicken's favorite day of the week? Fri-day.