How many times do I tap that ass? OVER 9000!
She invited me in the house, and we started makin' out again.
I gave her a lift back to her crib because her car wouldn’t start.
I was ridin' your mom like she was Mario Kart!
Five minutes later, she agreed to get with me, so we went and rocked the minivan like, "Giggity, Giggity, Giggity!"
She had two gallons of milk, and I was starin' at her jugs.
I approached her in the checkout line and said, "Yo baby wassup?"
But her ass was lookin' good all up in those mom jeans!
Big Dolly Parton hair, like an 80s prom queen!
I first saw her in the Walmart picking out your drawers.
I was doin' your mom, yes yours!
You know we straight with doin' your mom.
"Doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom."
Abdi and Tunde are real.
Public speaking is a more popular fear than snakes, and you don't see anyone walking in Australia and shout, "Look out! A podium!"
A girl named Ranch went to the store and stayed there. Why? Because she was ranched!
She said no, so I raped her.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Why?
To visit the ugly witch's house.
Knock, knock...
Who's there?
The chicken!
Sometimes I wish my gf was here, that way we could have some fun in my bed. Then I realize she's right across the hall. (SWEET HOME ALABAMA)!!
What's the difference between me calling my girlfriend a pedophile and her calling me one?
Oh wait, I am because she's 10.
