Worst Jokes Ever
My happiest moment in life was getting a positive grade on my H.I.V. test without studying.
Bruh.
Doctor: What makes you feel depressed?
Me: I used to work at the World Trade Center, before the plane hit.
Doctor: A lot of people fell to pieces after that.
Doctor: What makes you feel depressed?
Me: Seeing others happy.
Doctor: Ok, so what makes you happy?
Me: Seeing stupid people in misery or agony.
Doctor: Well, that's rather sadistic.
Me: Well, statistically one in two doctors have fingered a child...
Doctor: Do you want your prescription or shall I book you an endoscopy?
Me: There's nothing hidden inside me, I'm empty "smug face".
Why don't you see elephants hiding in trees?
Bc they're good at it.
They said I was depressed, I should make an effort to do what I love.
I had to pay a hooker for twelve hours work.
... I felt nothing, but it was nice, being with someone who felt the same.
What do you call an alligator with a magnifying glass?
An Investigator.
I only remember my father's last words before he died. He said, "Are you still holding the ladder?"
Why did the bat cross the road? Because to get to the blood bar.
Why would a dead guy lie?
Because he can't stand up.
(l=====8
How did the necrophiliac get caught?
Some rotten cunt split on him....
Where did the chef put the disease?
In Ebola.
A dyslexic walks into a bra.
Arby's fast food and abortion clinic: Your dead babies are our taters and gravy.
What did scientists prove when they saw a skeleton on the moon?
The cow didn’t make it.
This page could use more "butt quack" jokes.
All of us.
"Can you tie a knot?"
"I cannot."
"So you can knot?"
"No, I cannot knot."
"Not knot?"
"Who's there?"
"F... off!"
Would you like a piece of Africa?
Would you like to know why? Because it's a dessert/desert.