Worst Jokes Ever
My brothers kept annoying me.
I told them I would disembowel them if they kept it up.
It was an empty threat—right after I was done.
Why did the boy not cross the road?
Because he was on thin ice.
I looked at my daughter. I told her what's wrong.
She said I wasn't being a daddy to her until...
There was a woman sitting with me.
I had to leave until she pointed at something—it was my butt.
I was confused until it was her turn for truth or dare.
Oh my god, she hit me with a bat,
'Cause she was transgender.
How many guns can an octopus hold?
9
"Scoop pa tun manaa?"
What's an orphan's favorite food? Nothing, they can't afford it.
Why were Helen Keller's hands crippled?
From reading stop signs at fifty miles per hour.
Someone asked me if I've ever tried to kill myself. I responded, "Absolutely. A few times actually. I'm just not very good at it."
What’s the difference between a pimple and a Priest?
You see, a pimple wouldn’t normally come on a kid until he’s 13 years old.
How do you fit 27 New Zealand tourists in a 15-seater bus?
Simple. All in the ashtray.
You can make fun of adopted kids all you want. What are they going to do, tell their parents on you? Lol.
What is an animal that is always at a baseball game?
A bat! 🤣🦇🦇🦇🦇
What's the difference between broccoli and a booger?
Kids won't eat broccoli.
What do mice eat for dinner?
Mac n Cheese.
I once tried to have a family friendly conversation with a worm, but it kept its head in the dirt.
I once went to the bank with some raisins because I wanted to set up a current account.
Do you know why I wish grass was emo? So it can cut itself.
What does 1nan + 1nan = 2 smelly fucking dusty dumb fuck nans?