Worst Jokes Ever

How do you stop a baby from drowning?

-Lift up your foot.

What's worse than five dead babies in one garbage can?

- One dead baby in five garbage cans.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it?

A waist of time!

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I have a trans friend.

He is in a polyamorous relationship and would be straight if they had a dick.

Wanna know what's worse than 5 babies in one dumpster?

1 baby in 5 dumpsters.....

Why was your mom so into me?

'Cause she was the man.

Stop putting up bad jokes, boi!

I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to join my family tree... She dropped the rope and ran.

I give homework.

Don't go to ghostposter.com. The person or persons who run that site are a fucking bunch if dumb fucking cunts who can suck my big cock.

I wish Stephen Hawking could've just walked—oh wait, never mind.

Why is 9 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9.

What's a gay person's favorite meal?

Meat with white sticky stuff.

Q. How much cum does a gay guy have?

A. A butt load.

When you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

That one teacher that flips on and off the light switch to get the students' attention... that one kid with epilepsy...

Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road?

Because he got stuck in a crack.

Were you born on a highway? Because that's where accidents mostly happen.

What's white as snow within 15-25 mins after death and then black and blue and red all over?

A corpse, of course!