Worst Jokes Ever
symple: Why did you include me in this fuckery?
symple: And why the fuck am I the profile picture?
angela: Because you are the thot of the group.
symple: Well it takes one to know one.
symple: Aren't Thot jokes just "whore'able?"
angela: FUCK OFF!
So, me and my friend dressed as dead people for Halloween. The only difference in the costume was that he was actually dead.
"Grandma, tell me a story!" I said as we huddled near the campfire.
"Alright," she said, "Once, there was a tree named Timmy, he was my best tree friend. I used to read books under him and climb all his branches."
"Where is Timmy now?" I asked.
Grandma pointed to the campfire.
How does a cow do math?
With a cow-culator!
Do you want to hear a joke about the blunt pencil? Never mind, it's pointless.
What was Helen Keller's favorite color?
Velcro.
You know what’s impossible?
Steven Walking.
I bought my spoiled brother a trampoline for his birthday, but he decided to sit in his wheelchair like a little bitch.
My fifth wife asked me to help her dig in the garden. Here we go again.
So this guy named Andrew Furda was my boyfriend for like a half a week, so five days. Then bam, I cut my hair. He only liked me for my looks, and I hoped he regrets it because it is WAR, so if you see this, you're going down, Andrew!
So I was watching TV, right? Then I f***ing got banged in the eye with either a remote or metal tongs. "WTF?"
What do you call a grown-up orphan? Homeless.
Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Whoever invented the knock-knock joke should get a "no bell" prize.
We are anonymous because none of us are as cruel as all of us.
I was going to tell you a joke about a big cat, but I would be lion.
...... fuck the turtles...... THE END
Why is the iPhone X the perfect phone for an orphan?
Because there is no home button.
I like my wine like how I like my women: 10 years old and locked in a basement.
My friend has a dog who looks like cocoa. Her name is Cocoa!