Worst Jokes Ever
You find yourself stuck in a hole with a murderer, a rapist, and a lawyer. You're armed, but you only have 2 bullets left. What do you do?
Shoot the lawyer. Twice.
Knock knock, Who's there? Dad. You came back?
Why didn't the Japanese guy get a high five? Logan Paul left him hanging.
What soda do mountains drink? Mountain Dew.
Q: What kind of building weighs the least?
A: A lighthouse!
Sheep want to wool the world :)
What do sheep hate?
Their enemies: goats!
You work at Papa's Pizzeria, ok?
Boss: You're fired!
Me: Ok?
Worker: Why are you fired?
Me: Oh, you wanna know...
*shows him the oven with my pizza*
Me: I left my pizza in the oven, that bitch burnt as fuck!!
Worker: OH SHIT!!
Boss: Did you say pizza?
Me: I sure did!
*shows boss pizza in oven*
Me: This hoe black as fuck!
Boss: I fired you because I can't stop looking at your ass, not this why?
Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a joke, so are you.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Who.
Who who?
Stop acting like an owl!
Roses are blue, violets are blue.
What? Ohh, shit!!!!!! I hate having dyslexia!
Thankfully, I'm still alive because I fail at everything in life.
What do pedophiles and Sandy Hook have in common?
Shooting up schoolchildren.
Mike, ID is coming tonight.
What do crows use when they get a phone?
A "CAWing" card!
Death once had a near Chuck experience.
What happens when Stephen Hawking dies? Windows plays the shutdown music.
What do you call the ghost of the Thanksgiving turkey? A Poultrygeist.
My pal asked me why nobody wants to eat the spaghetti he makes in his restaurant.
Well, because it's impastable.
What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus?
One is hairy and smells like fish, and the other is a walrus. You're welcome.