Worst Jokes Ever

What is the difference between Jesus and a painting?

It only takes 1 nail to hang a painting!

At work: Hey guys, I'm gonna Arnold clock out now.

Have you heard the latest pun about pizza?

Never mind. It’s too cheesy!

What do you call an expert fisherman?

A "MASTER-BAITER".

If Trump was an orphan, I know he would know not to build a wall because he was in one most of his life.

How do cows say "oof?"

They say, "MOOf."

Me and my little brother were playing Call Of Duty. He wasn't doing very good, so I told him so. My brother said to me, "At least I don't have to camp in order to get kills." I then responded with, "I would call you cancer, but at least cancer kills."

I had a dream about being forced to eat a huge marshmallow.

I woke up and my pillow was gone.

What do you call an Asian kid that is bad at math?

An orphan.

In the Middle Ages it was illegal for a blind man to become a king.

I mean, I don't see why not.

I will always remember my dad's last words....

"15 dollars and I'll jump."

I'll always remember my dad's last words... "Why do you have an axe? We live in the city!"

Why couldn’t most people remember 9/11?

Because it flew over their heads.

I have a pussy. It's very hairy. It has a long thing sticking out of it. It's also very hair. My hairy pussy meows and purrs.

That moment when you have to ask your Chinese neighbor if he's seen your cat.

I was on a plane and my mom said, "It's just a little turbulence."

And I said, "Mom, we just got on the runway!"

What's a popular name in China? Curiosity, because curiosity killed the cat.

What's Stephen Hawking's favorite type of comedy? Stand up.

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