Worst Jokes Ever
My husband told me to make him a sandwich. I was looking online for some comebacks. Someone online said, "You better come back with a goddamn sandwich!"
The ones you hate most are also the ones who are by your side most.
What's the difference between Jesus and a dead, naked baby?
I don't worship Jesus.
An old woman goes to the doctor complaining of extremely smelly gas.
"I don't understand it, Doc," she said, "I have this terrible, terrible gas." "Thankfully," she added, "they are at least silent when I fart."
Doctor hands her a bottle of pills, tells her take them all and then come back to see him.
The old woman returned a short time later extremely mad. "I took those pills like you said and not only is my gas smelly, but now when I fart they are obnoxiously loud!", she yelled.
The doctor said, "well, now that we've solved your hearing problem, let's see what we can do about that gas".
Q: If Adolf Hitler was a sea creature, which would he be?
A: Adlof-in.
Why can’t October fool April?
Because only April fools.
What’s yellow and can’t swim?
A bus full of children.
A person walks into the bar and said, "Hey barman, get my son a drink and tell him his dad is dead."
Who said that?
What does the egg do after the pan told him a joke?
He cracked up!
The boobs was funny tbh... But the last was rude.
My parents said to me, "Whenever you say sorry to someone and they say, 'It's okay,' it's really not."
So I said, "Okay."
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Orphan.
Orphan who?
Are you my mommy?
Please stop using this thread. It is cancer.
Why was one afraid of every number in the world?
Because ONE wanted TWO get something THREE FOUR FIVE at the yard sale, but SIX was not there. SEVEN EIGHT NINE as well. When all but ONE remained, it got TENse.
Me: Knock, knock.
Teacher: Who is there?
Me: Boo.
Teacher: Boo who?
Me: Stop being a crybaby and open the door!
Teacher: ......
Me: Aw man, detention again.
What time is it when you get home and you can walk walk?
What is the difference between a human and a tree?
A human can walk and a house can walk to a tree, walk home, walk, walk, and walk, walk.
Yes, you are the one who can get it, and what time do I have?
I love you.
What is a home that can fly?
A magic house!