Worst Jokes Ever
Me: *listening to music under a tree and smiling*
Random person who sees me: Awwww look at him, he looks so so happy ^w^
Me: *actually listening to depressing music that makes me wanna kill and end myself but just smiles to show that everything's gonna be fine even if it won't*
Friend: You ok, man?
Me: Yea... I'll just leave myself "hangin'" tonight...
Suicide is the way to get even with the bitch called probability.
Suicide: Turning one's biology into complex organic chemistry.
What hit the ground first, the feather or the depressed kid?
The feather, the rope was stopping the kid.
Patient to doctor: "Will I be ok, Doc?"
Doctor: "I doubt it. Mercury is in Uranus now."
Patient: "I don't do that astrology stuff."
Doctor: "Nor me. My thermometer just broke."
You're so poor not even Dollar Tree has your prices.
Are you electricity? 'Cause I wanna get a bath with you ;)
9/11 and Jenga are the same.
It's a controlled demolition.
I used to be into necrophilia. Until that rotten cunt split on me...
Why was the short person a coward? They didn't stand up to challenges.
"Fish, why you no fly?"
"I don't like being caught naked."
Poop + mouth = yummy for dung Beatles and HEDGEHOGS!
A random drunk person ate poop, but he found out it was liquid...
A Texan and an Alaskan walk into a room, and the Alaskan says, "My state is bigger." Then the Texan says, "It won't be when it melts."
I remember having a crush on my math teacher, so I winked at her and said, "Don't worry, babe, I'll call you later."
Dad: You're adopted.
Son: Where are my real parents?
Dad: >:D They are dead, now come to their grave and sleep there.
Your face was so ugly, you got adopted by a poop!
Why did the chicken explode? Because he pooped his pants!
Why was the toilet angry?
Because everyone was pooping in his mouth :>