What is an orphan's least favorite store?
Family Dollar, they just can’t seem to find one.
Worst Jokes Ever
A boy was terrible at writing sentences, so his teacher gave him an assignment to help with that. The boy was to go home, write five sentences, and return to school the next day.
When he went home, he took a notepad and a pen and went to his dad for help. His dad was in a very important business call, so he angrily shouted at the child, "Shut up, you donkey!" The boy noted down that sentence. He next went to his mom, who assumed that he wanted to play video games, so she said, "No, my dear, tomorrow." That was his second sentence. For the third sentence, he went to his older brother, who was watching football where someone scored a goal, so he was jumping up and down yelling, "Goal! Goal!"
For the fourth sentence, he went to his sister, who was singing, "Spider-Man, Spider-Man!" For the last sentence, he went to his grandmother, who was cleaning the toilet and singing, "Under the toilet, under the toilet."
He went to school the next day, and his teacher asked him to tell her the sentences. The boy said, "Shut up, you donkey!" The teacher got angry after hearing this and asked the boy, "Do you want me to slap you?" The boy said, "No, my dear, tomorrow." This made the teacher so angry that she slapped the boy. Immediately, he started jumping up and down yelling, "Goal! Goal!" The teacher dragged him to the principal's office, as she was fed up with him. The principal asked the boy what his name was, to which he replied by singing, "Spider-Man, Spider-Man!" She asked him where he lived, so he sang, "Under the toilet, under the toilet."
What is the real reason why men jack off? They just enjoy killing kids.
Nothing bad ever happens to the Kennedys! Except that one headshot, but we don’t talk about that.
We stopped by the reception desk, but the receptionist informed us, "I am wan kin the manager." So we just left in disgust!
How much do 2000 pounds of Chinese noodles weigh? Won Ton.
What does a Chinese guy say to his lover? “You’re the ying to my yang!”
What do you call a Chinese man in the summer heat? Boi Ling.
I couldn't imagine being Abe Lincoln, that would be mind-blowing!
Two priests walk into a store, and cops come up to them and say they’re looking for a child molester, and the priests both say, "I’ll do it!"
I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday.
He said it was the most violent book he’s ever read.
Your mom is so fat that she works as a hydraulic press in a car factory!
Hi, I'm new.
What do you call a black person eating chicken, watermelon, and drinking Kool-Aid?
Reality.
Ironic that this page is dead.
Bomb.
What word starts with “F” and ends in “uck”?
Firetruck.
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Roger.
(Roger who?)
Roger walks away, silently sobbing, having realized his mother’s Alzheimer’s is getting worse!
Would it be wrong of me to yell “Jenga!” or “Timber!” while my class is watching a 9/11 documentary?
Why should you fear white people in prison instead of the blacks?
Because you know that whites are in for actually committing something.
