Worst Jokes Ever
A boi found a magic vase and a genie came out and told him he had one wish. The boy said, "I wanna be like Batman." The genie said, "OK, your wish is granted."
The boy came home later that day and his parents were dead.
The next time you get a sack call, pick up the phone and say, "Welcome to Pete's pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is next week's sauce. How may we help you?"
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims, 110 stories in 10 seconds.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Please.
Please who?
Police, can you stop talking so we can get to the end of the joke.
Lol.
Addicted, what did the drug dealer say to the dopewhore?
"Damn whore, you're not that addicted when you spread your legs open for any man. No wonder weed is more addicted than yo ass." Lol
What does the depressed person say to the happy person?
"Damn, I wish I was on the stuff you're on, lol."
Depressed people have beautiful smiles. Okay, it's not a joke for normal people, but it's a joke for us.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because the one behind it wasn't social distancing.
What's a depressed person's least favorite type of cereal?
LIFE.
Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
Because the pond was too shallow.
Why can't you ever fool an aborted baby?
Because it wasn't born yesterday!
Why did Steven Hawking only tell one-liners?
Because he couldn't do standup.
You know why orphans like boomerangs?
Because they come back, unlike their parents.
Yo mama so fat that when she went to KFC, she asked for the bucket on the roof.
What do you call a taco in bed?
Es(tá co)stado.
What does a Mexican not like in their drink? Ice.
One day, there are friends having fun.
Hours later, one of the friends, Alice, wanted to leave and said, "Cya guys, I'm just gonna hang in the tree and have some fresh air."
And they all agree.
Hours go by, and the group of friends are ready to go home, but then they see a tree in the distance that looks like someone is hanging on the tree with a tight rope.
How did Billy find out he was in a minefield?
He saw his dad's corpse holding a jug of milk.
What do gasses and asses have in common? They both have asses in them!
Friend: If you could get rid of any one person in your life, who would it be?
Me: Me.
Friend: *does nothing*
(x_x)
I forgot that I don't have friends.