Worst Jokes Ever

I pushed a disabled kid in a fire, then called him "hot wheels."

Dark humor is like the plague; everyone was supposed to get it.

Dark humor is like COVID-19... Not everyone gets it.

Me: Now I know why Michael Jackson turned white.

The police: You finally figured it out.

My wife left me yesterday.

I haven't talked to the kids in a year.

Your reflection.

You know, life as a pufferfish is tough. They get startled, then they get hard.

What is long, brown, and cures depression?

A noose.

What's the difference between a mole and a priest?

One will till your 13 to put hairs on your face.

Me: punching a kid.

My FBI agent: You're adopted.

You really can't call Stalin bad. Just think about the people that wanted to die.

You really can't call Stalin bad, just think about the kids that depression.

Poopoo man.

I might have to back down on this because it is usually aimed for little children.

How many babies does it take to paint a barn?

Depends on how hard you throw them.

The first time I EVER HAD SEX I WAS ALL ALONE. You know why?

IT WAS DARK and I WAS ALL ALONE!

I raped your mom. I flipped her upside down and called the position "wow."

My diet consists of Blood Pudding, I love it and have it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, my secret ingredient though?

It consists of the blood and insides of my victims, it’s a bit chunky sometimes, some bits chewy, some bits hard, but it’s a hearty meal.

One day, the teacher asks a boy, "Why can't fish talk underwater?"

The kid says, "If I put your head underwater, will you be able to talk?"

Roses are red, That's a tin can, You have no home, So get in the van!