Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a Mexican's prison?
The border.
What’s the hardest part about being friends with a turtle?
Getting them to come out of their shell.
1. just feeling sad. 2. depression. 3. self harm. 4. suicide.
39, 41, 43, AK, 47, AK-47. You get it? Lmao.
They can't say no if they're unconscious.
Teacher: What is a cow?
Kid: Meat.
Teacher: Nice. What is a chicken?
Kid: Eggs.
Teacher: What does the big fat pig give you?
Kid: Homework.
My wife wanted a boob job. I told her it was too expensive.
I told her all she has to do is take some toilet paper and rub it in between her boobs for a few days, and they would get bigger. She asked, "How is that supposed to work?"
I replied, "I don't know how it works, but it did a heck of a job on your ass!"
My sister said to kill myself, so now I’m in the hospital hoping to die.
My kids [are] so damn bad[.] We took them to Disney in Florida. They paid me not to bring them back ever.
How do you punish a blind kid?
Rearrange the furniture.
Want another joke? Look in the mirror.
A gay wizard went to a bar and disappeared with a poof!
What do ya call a legless prostitute in a strawberry field?
A jammy cunt.
Unlike the Americans, Hitler knew when to kill himself.
What do you call a bunch of wheelchairs on top of one another?
A vegetable rack.
Me: Knock, knock. You: Who's there? Me: Music. You: Music who? Answer: A guitar is a violin without a stick.
Why did the number 10 make friends with 0? Because you have $100 dollars.
Your head so big you can wash a big TV on it!
If this is offensive to anyone, I'm sorry! Hey, wanna see something funny? Go look in your mirror!
I recently was told by my therapist to stop with the suicide jokes. So I replied with "Don't worry, it will all end soon."