"MERCURY INSURANCE, come to our office in Mercury."
What's an orphan's favorite movie?
"Spider-Man: Homecoming."
Clowns were doing an egg contest, and one clown had their egg crack, and another clown said, "The yoke's on you!"
What did Helen Keller do when she fell down a well? Screamed till her hands fell off.
Hi, I did not get your text. I texted you when I texted you. You are not [responding].
Q: Why did the orphan get an iPhone X for their birthday?
A: 'Cause it don't have a home button.
Why did the cow wiggle?
To make milkshake! 😂😂😂😂😂😂
All of them.
What did Sally do when she got home?
Cry because she has no arms.
Why can't blondes write comments on the jokes on this site?
Because they don't know what 2 X 4 is.
Fence 1 was thinking and Fence 2 said, "Are you still on the fence about running away?"
Fence 1 said, "Yeah, I was thinking of running on the RAILROAD."
what's the difference between a feminist and a knife?
one has a point.
What do you call a bunch of bi racial retarded kids, the special Olympics
If being ugly was a crime, you would get a life sentence.
I was gonna tell a baby joke, but I had to abort.
What falls but never gets hurt? Snow
911, what's your emergency?
Me: My grandma just passed out in the living room and I think she's dead.
Well, it's not a living room anymore.
Me: Hangs up.
Why do nuns go around in pairs?
So one nun makes sure the other nun doesn't get none!
Your forehead's so big, it's built like Megamind's robot, period.
What do orphans do when the get a phone press the home button
