Worst Jokes Ever
A bear and a rabbit are at a bar getting high, smoking weed, talking about nothing but lies and straight up garbage.
And then the bear starts to drink too much damn liquor, gets drunk, and asks the rabbit, "Can I have one more scotch, pretty please?"
And the rabbit says, "Hell to the naw, I'm not about to carry your drunk ass home with me and smell your breath."
Where do rabbits take baths and wash their asses?
Why did the whale cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide!!! 😂
What do you call a Mexican under a carpet? Underlay, underlay.
Eat frozen orphans, it's ğøöđ.
Why can't orphans go to school? They can't attend parent-teacher conferences.
What do you call a dwarf suicide bomber?
A party popper.
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
What did the big tree say to the little one? Grow a pear!
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
Man to woman: "Would you sleep with me for one million dollars?"
Woman: "Sure."
Man: "How about for ten dollars?"
Woman: "What do you think I am?"
Man: "We’ve already established what you are. All we’re doing is negotiating price."
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef! Hahahahahaha!
Hi stone, I'm watching.
You die. LOL!
What is the difference between your girlfriend and your sister?
They're both "sweet home Alabama."
So my sister was eating Now&Laters, and I continuously heard smacking sounds. So I told her, "Can you stop smacking? It's annoying." Then she said, "I can't, it's a juicy type of candy." So I said, "I can stop the candies from making that sound." Then she said, "How?" So I smacked her. :)
What do you call a flying pig?
Fiction.
How do you make a plumber die?
You kill his family.
What do you call a Russian pharmacist?
"Ivan Astichestykov."