Life's like a dick. Women make it hard for no reason.
What do you call a racist crow?
Jim.
How do you keep a bull from charging?
You take its credit card away.
Me: *writes Kahoot about me then finishes.*
Me and friend: *plays Kahoot.*
A question: When is (my name) happy?
Friend: *puts a good answer and gets wrong.*
Answer: Never, only a portion.
Friend: Do you need help?
What did the mommy cow say to the baby cow?
It's pasture your bedtime.
Why did everyone suggest that the cheetah eat all the pumpkins?
Because he cheated at everything!
Must. Escape. Meme.
Existence is what meme stands for for some haters.
Why did the tangerine copy off other people's work?
Because the tangerine was unORANGEinal!
What happens when an angel and nun "have some fun and forget pills"?
The nun gets pregNUNt.
What do you call a too round egg?
A prEGGnant egg.
Mother Nature deserves a traffic ticket.
Summer is speeding by way too fast. 🤣🤣🤣
"I spy with my little eye..."
- Noting I am blind -
How can you find out how old a cabbage is?
By looking at its cabbAGE.
What is the difference between a nerd and leafyishere?
One is fun to laugh at, bully, and roast, and the other is just a nerd.
One day, two friends found a treasure map. So they decided to try to find the treasure.
After several hours they found the treasure. It was a suit that gives the person wearing it super strength. One of the friends wore the suit and hugged the other friend. They were both red.
One day a Chief was talking to his son... "Son," the father said, "Long ago the Woman didn't have anybody to take her to BINGO. So, the Creator put the Woman to sleep and cut off her butt cheeks and made her a Man. That's why today Indian Women have no butt, and the Men are called Buttheads!"
When Bubba's condom broke, he spent a lot of sleepless nights wondering if he was going to be an uncle or a dad.
Sarcastic Doctor: Tell me.
Guy: I have leukemia in the brain.
Sarcastic Doctor: That doesn't concern me.
What do you call a two-legged cow? Lean beef.
If there was a quiz on midgets, here’s the Midget quiz and the questions that would be on it:
1. When midgets get high on any drug, do they get high or medium?
2. Do midgets come out the closet or the cabinet?
3. Are Midgets related to Snow White’s 7 Dwarfs?
4. Is a midget just a human without the mushroom in Mario?
5. Was this funny?
