Worst Jokes Ever
Pick up line for girls with the last name "Berg":
"I may be a tall glass of whiskey, but I'm nothing without a few ice Bergs."
Why didn't the two 4's feel like dinner?
Answer: Because they already ate.
Bf: Do you love me?
Gf: Most of the time.
Bf: Well, it's either yes or no.
Gf:...
Bf: Well, when is it that you don't love me?
Gf: 2:30 to 4:00. Every time when you go to the river an hour, then it takes me a half hour to love you again.
Bf: Why?
Gf: 'Cause you always see that OTHER GIRL.
Bf: MY LOVE! That other girl is my sister!!!
Gf: Ohh...
I told my sister that when you go to bed with an itchy butt, you're going to have smelly fingers in the morning, and I've never heard her laugh so hard in my life.
What do you call a German that is blind? A not-see.
Bf: "Roses are red, violets are blue, you're my bf and I luv you."
Gf: "I luv u too."
Bf: "But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, I heard you were cheating, I'll knock off your head."
Gf: "Ah, about that..."
My dad told me a story today. His mom, my grandma, said if a bird gets in your house, someone will die.
That day, a hummingbird got in his UPS truck, and that’s the day he found out that my grandma had cancer. 😭😭😭😭😭 6 weeks later, she died. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Why are you making all these bad jokes about orphans? What did they ever do to you?
Would you rather eat a brick or a matter baby?
Q: What do you call brown mixed with yellow?
A: Someone who just ate beans.
A, B, C, E, F, G. You smell like a baby. Maybe you should not be "Hati-ey."
Bf: Hey, what ya doing?
Gf: Just lying in bed.
Bf: Just lying in bed?
Gf: And eating cereal.
Bf: Ha, nice, what would you do if I was in bed next to you...?
Gf: Eat my cereal.
Bf: I mean if the cereal wasn't there.
Gf: I'd get out of bed and get more cereal.
Why are orphans bad at poker?
They don't know what a full house is.
Michael doesn’t fart. Jackson does.
Aiden's the best, in any contest, and no matter what, he'll kick your butt!
Warning: if you don't like gummy bears, DO NOT READ.
Q: What do you call a Mexican gummy bear?
A: Delici-Oso
1, 2, 3, 4, 5. I'm old enough to drive, for now I'm still alive, till I crash in that beehive!
A B C D E F G.
Gummy bears are chasing me, one is red, one is blue. One is chewing up my shoe. Now I'm running for my life because the red one's got a knife!
Gf: Hi.
Bf: Hi.
Gf: Did you eat yet?
Bf: Did you eat yet?
Gf: Are you copying me?
Bf: Are you coping me??
Gf: I love you.
Bf: Yeah, I ate already.
What's the difference between a Ranga and a Brick?
A Brick can get laid.