Worst Jokes Ever

What do volcanoes and suicide bombers have in common?

They both erupt when triggered.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.

Jack got high, grabbed Jill's thigh, and said, "I know you wanna."

Jill said yes, lifted up her dress, and then they had some fun, but silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.

Are you my pantry? Because you look like a snack ;)

Hello, welcome to Joe’s Pizzeria and Abortion Clinic, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce! How may I help you today?

I was digging and found some gold. I was going to tell my mom, then I remembered why I was digging.

I bet China can be the best baseball team. They took out the entire world with just a bat.

Why did the sperm cross the road?

I put on the wrong socks this morning.

White people can't say the N-word, but at least they can say, "Thanks for the warning, officer," and "Hi, Dad."

Why did the chicken cross the road? To become roadkill.

When the school shooter is about to leave the school, and then the autistic kid screams, "Hooray!"

I am like Cookie Monster on steroids when it comes to cookies.

Your (DYM 47).

Why did Helen Keller’s dog run away?

I would too if my name was Braille.

Guys, we shouldn't make jokes about 9/11. My dad was a victim.

He was the best pilot in Arab.

Me: I'm home, ma! Here's her with a new dad. Her: Go hang with someone. Me: Gets the noose, goes to fav tree. I love you, ma. 🙂

I farted, try me. You farted? Oh no, we all farted.

The plane crashed, but I did too on a pillow.

What's the difference between a painting and Jesus?

A painting only needs one nail.

What do you call a lesbian alien? A "lesbeening."

What’s the difference between 69 and High School?

In 69 you usually only kiss one c*nt and look at one a**hole.

My sister's friends are hilarious, like seriously, haha.