Worst Jokes Ever
What is an orphan's favorite movie? Spider-Man: Homecoming.
Yooo, D.K. here!
Dad: Where is my son?
Son: Come join me with musical chairs, except we stand on them.
Dad: Ok, so do we put this round our neck?
Son: YES!
Mum: AHHHHHHHHHHHH
Haymoohay?
I thought about going on an all-almond diet.
But that’s just nuts.
When the school shooter enters the classroom and it's the quiet kid's dad.
Hey Gwen, reply to me and say if everything is alright.
Hey D.K., how are you? :)
Love you!
Once Jimmy was minding his own business, then he hears his mom come home. He asked, "Where have you been?" She replied with, "I was at work," yet he knew his mom did not have work. So the next day, while heading to school, he gets a phone call saying his mom is pregnant, and they want to try their device, and they need the baby's dad to say if it's alright.
Good luck, Gwen, with everything!
Billy: *spits out food*
Mom: BILLY! We swallow what we have in our mouths.
Dad: *looks at mom*
Mom: Shut up.
If you get it, you get it.
Please read all of it. I know it's long, please read all of it.
This dad heard his daughter praying. As she was praying, she came to an end: "Goodnight grandma, goodbye grandpa, goodnight daddy, goodnight mommy." The dad didn't think about the grandpa part and headed to bed. The next morning, the mom and dad heard that the grandpa died. The dad thought it was just coincidence, so he carried on with his day. At night, he heard his daughter again: "Goodbye grandma, goodnight daddy, goodnight mommy." After he heard "goodbye grandma," his facial expression changed, and he went straight to bed. The next morning, the grandma died out of nowhere. The dad began to worry and continued on with his day. At night, he heard his daughter again: "Goodbye daddy, goodnight mommy." The dad got scared, so he had a plan to go to work and stay hidden there. So that's what he did. When he got home the next day, his wife asked where he had been, and he replied back, "Sorry honey, I had a horrible day today." She replied back saying: "Oh, you think you had a bad day? The mailman just died on the front porch this morning!" If you get it, you get it.
"Look at these kids stealing ideas, bro. They're going to jail."
Why are Americans bad at chess? Because they lost two towers.
My dad died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.
Why is there a middle school?
Because the kids that go there are middle class families.
Why do kids like bananas?
'Cause they like doing the nana.
What is one word orphans can't spell?
Family.
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
*slaps* "We ask ze questions!"
What do you call James Bond in a bathtub?
Bubble 007.