What do call six gay men going in a war?
Rainbow Six Siege.
I gave a blind man a gun. And told him it was a hair dryer.
What do you call an orphan? Homeless.
What's an orphan's worst favorite movie? Home Alone.
Why can't homeless people find a home? Because they're orphans.
UHH, DADDY!
Who is Joe?
You reply back: Who is Candice?
They reply back: Who is Candice?
You say: "Candice nuts fit into Joe Mama's mouth."
My sister: See you at home in about an hour.
Me: Okay.
My sister: Sister, where are you? *She looks out the window.*
Me: Sis, I'm here, can't you see me?
Sister: OMG, she's dead!
Me: Yeah, I know, but can't you see me?
You gonna poop someday.
If my phone battery lasted as long as my relationship, I would never be able to play on my phone.
What did the traffic light say to the truck?
"Don't look, I'm about to change!"
What did the owl that's a detective say?
"Hoo did it?"
My girlfriend was cheating in Uno.
She's not the only one who can play that game.
Your mama so fat, when she asked for a water bed they put a blanket over the Pacific Ocean.
If I'm ugly, at least I'm not you.
What's the difference between a guy and a woman? They fall from different heights.
I hate child murderers, they're always so high-pitched.
When the school shooter finds you and you think you’re gonna die, but he remembers the time you gave him a pen.
Curry hits 3s, and Kobe hit 3 trees.
Doin (DYM 38)
Little Johnny's sister, Suzy, sees her mom in the shower and asks, "What is that between your legs?" Her mom responds, "That is my garage." The next day, Suzy sees her dad in the shower and says, "What is that between your legs?" Her dad answers, "It is a motorcycle that gets parked in mommy's garage." The next day, Suzy came to dinner with blood all over her hands. Her mom asks, "Why is there blood all over your hands, Suzy?" Suzy says, "Well... little Johnny tried to put his motorcycle in my garage, so I ripped its wheels off."
When you get to feel a dick in you, then suck bro, all your stress [goes] out the window.
