What does it mean when a man has a dodgy past? It means he has skeletons in his closet.
What does it mean when a man likes Lana Del Rey better than Ed Sheeran? It means he has a closet full of women's leather pants (but no women in their dating history).
What's the difference between Ironman and Ironwoman?
One's a superhero, one's a command.
what's another name for cumming inside of a woman?
loading the dishwasher.
What do you call an Asian who gets a B?
It's not a B-sian.
Dead.
It's illegal to go onto someone's property, demand money that they might not have while wearing all black, and threaten horrible things if they don't pay.
But when the IRS does it, it's perfectly fine. HMMMMM . . .
What do you call a surprised Asian?
Ho Lee Fuc.
I think it’s dumb that people say a woman belongs in the kitchen.
How else is the rest of the house going to get cleaned?
I would never slap a woman, then I’d be destroying property.
What did the cops say when someone called him racist?
"How can I be racist? My wife's eye is black."
I believe Alia is a true god because they say in the beginning there was an explosion.
Like a shooter says, "I put the fun in funeral!"
what do you call an American looking at cloud shapes?
Oppenheimer
What's an old Japanese man's last words?
"Hey, that cloud looks like a mushroom, or is it just me?"
A mirror and a beer bottle are arguing.
The beer bottle says: "If you break me, you get one year of bad luck."
The mirror scoffs: "Oh, that's nothing. You break me and you get 7 years of bad luck."
The condom overhears these arguments and walks off laughing.
My son told me he has to bring an object for show and tell at school.
So I had him bring my wife.
What do you call a group of white people running down a hill?
An avalanche.
How do you turn a cat into a fish?
Tell your girl not to wash down there.
Did you know Paul Walker had dandruff?
Neither did I until I found his Head and Shoulders in the glove compartment.
What’s the difference between black matter and Black Lives Matter?
Black matter leaves an impact.
I think God is cool with abortion.
After all, he did kill his only son.
