Worst Jokes Ever

Ah, son of a bitch, I got the truth stuck on my shoe?!?!

The truth: Breast feeding is like having long sex with your baby. God dammit, I hate the truth!

Why do orphans want an iPhone S? Because it has a home screen.

Deez nuts eat nuts.

Why do orphans suck at baseball?

Because they can't run home.

Why can't an orphan play baseball?

Because they can't find home.

You're losing all your friends, but never any calories.

Ninety percent of your beauty can be removed with a Kleenex.

Oh, were you talking to me? I thought you only talked behind my back.

Hold still, I am trying to imagine you with a personality.

You're so ugly, Hello Kitty said goodbye.

You're so ugly Bob the Builder cat can fix you.

You're so fat, you don't need internet because you're already worldwide.

Yo momma's so ugly Thanos had to snap twice.

Why do orphans always have water in their cereal? Because the dad never came back with the milk.

What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?

A stick.

1. If being ugly was a crime, you would have a life sentence.

2. My phone battery lasts longer than your friendships.

3. There is a tree out there giving you oxygen, and you owe that tree an apology.

4. I don’t hate you, but I gotta unplug your life support to charge my phone.

5. When I saw your dad on the sidewalk, I didn’t laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.

6. If I had powers, I would make you the dumbest person alive, but it seems life already beat me to the punch.

7. If karma ever comes to punch ya in the face, I wanna be there to help it.

8. If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I’d be broke.

9. You are more disappointing than a cake without frosting.

10. Were you born on a highway, 'cause that’s where most accidents happen?

11. Wow, that hurts, now I know how it felt when your mom said that to ya.

12. You're the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo, and you may as well be the reason why the middle finger was invented.

How is everyone? I just started school. Sixth grade, yeah!

Do you know what's the difference between a knife and a girl's argument?

A knife has a point.

Hey, y'all, I just wanna say thanks to Gwen on here. She writes jokes, and she got me through a lot xx.

Your mama so fat, she walked by a TV and missed eight episodes.

Your mama is so slow, she walked by a TV and missed eight episodes.

You're so ugly that everytime you look up in the sky, God says, "Sorry, can't help you."