Worst Jokes Ever
What is the same thing between apples and orphans?
Apples actually get picked.
Why are Michael Jackson and caviar so much in common?
They both come on little white crackers.
A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar.
The bartender looks at them and says, “What is this – a joke?”
Did you hear the one about the Polish elevator operator?
He was fired from his job because he couldn’t learn the route.
Have you ever been to the new Disney park called SawCon?
SawCon deez nutz!
What do a blonde chick and a turtle both have in common?
When they're on their backs, they're screwed.
What do a blonde chick and a field of wheat have in common?
They're both bound to get plowed at some point in time.
I really wasn't planning on going for a run today, but damn, those cops came out of nowhere!
A woman has been raped by a man. She calls the police, and a policeman shows up.
Woman: "Please help, officer! I have been raped!"
Officer: "No problem, ma'am, I will just unrape you."
Woman: "What? Unrape me? How?"
Officer proceeds to bring back the rapist and forces the woman to rape the rapist back in order to cancel out the initial rape.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Teacher: Students, tomorrow bring your parents to the open house.
Student one orphan: I don't have any.
Student 2: What is the difference between you and an escaped prisoner?
Student one orphan: What!
Student 2: The prisoner gets picked.
If the captain of the Titanic was dumb, he would eat the iceberg.
What would a man say to flirt with a woman that has a big butt?
You are so butty-ful!
Why can't you hear the pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent.
This website is darker than the kid that got arrested last week.
"Knock knock?"
"Who's there?"
"Depression"
"Depression wh-"
ME!! *runs away*
More expresso, less depresso. Jk, let's all drink bleach cuz life is a bitch.
Why can’t orphans go on a field trip?
Parent signature __________
I'm a gay depressed person. Would that make me a happy unhappy person?
Flat earthers are completely wrong. If the earth was flat, I would have yeeted myself off the edge years ago!