Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Add joke

One tonsil said to the other tonsil, “We must be in San Juan Capistrano, here comes another swallow.”

A 7-foot-tall man walks into a restaurant with his 4-foot-tall girlfriend, and the maitre d' says to the waiter, “He must be nuts over her.”

A man walks into a bar carrying a big chunk of asphalt and says to the bartender, “Make mine a double Scotch and one more for the road.”

Why did the little girl cry twice?

Because you wiped your shitty bloody duck on her favorite teddy bear.

Why did the little girl cry twice?

Because you wiped your bloody shitty cock on her favorite teddy bear.

What do my little brother and a vagina have in common?

They both ooze blood 🩸 when punched.

Kid: Where do I put this paper?

Teacher: I already said go ask your neighbors.

Kid: Ok. *Walks home to his neighbor's house*

Kid: Hey neighbor, I didn't know where to put this paper, and my teacher said to ask you. Do you know?

Neighbor: No, sorry, I don't.

Kid: Okay, bye! *Kid walks back to school.*

Kid: Teacher, my next-door neighbor didn't know.

Teacher: Ugh, you went home?!

Kid: Yes, you told me to!

Teacher: I meant at school!

Kid: Ohhhhhh!

Teacher: Duh!

I bought an anti-bullying wristband. I say I bought it; I stole it off a fat ginger kid.

What did the German Shepherd dog say to Hitler?

"Mein Führer ist steckenbleiben in meinen Zähnen."

Cemeteries should be built next to orphanages, so the orphans can see their parents.

If wishes were horses, Beggars would ride.

If turnips were watches, I would wear one by my side.

And if if's and an's were pots and pans, The tinker would never work!

Jack and Jill went up the hill, so Jack could lick her candy. But Jack got a shock and a mouth full of cock, 'cause Jill's real name was Randy.