Worst Jokes Ever
What actor do orphans hate?
Dom Terreto (family).
My friends were really annoying me at my birthday party, so I decided to pop a balloon to spook them.
Maybe going on a hot air balloon ride wasn't the best idea.
I called my sister a party pooper after she came to my party uninvited.
Grampa said that the only ones who poop at parties are the ones who don't get invited.
So I guess that means I was the party pooper at my own birthday?
Last week, I was on a plane to Manchester when suddenly the plane was hit by a ball. I wondered where it came from, but I soon realized it was none other than Penaldo practicing his free kicks. Shame on you, Penaldo, for almost killing me!
It was a sunny day and I was in school. I had history lessons and we had a cool subject! The subject was about Penaldo, the man who statpadded against small teams and camped in the pen spot! Our teacher showed us a map with marked countries in which Penaldo dived like a dolphin!
On the 12th day of Christmas Peo Pessi gave to me:
12 tap ins
11 pointless dribbles
10 fixed league titles
9 missed penalties
8-2
6 dives
500 million robbed from Barca
4 UCL semi losses
3 times he blamed Higuain
2 retirements
And a transfer to a farmers league.
My friend asked me why I know how to tie a noose.
I told them, "because I’m such a noose-ance."
What does a depressed person and a jacket have in common?
They’re both hanging in the closet.
What's the difference between necrophilia and a choking fetish? 15 seconds.
Grandpa: "Sonny, let me tell you something. There's only one damn thing in this whole world worse than Alzheimer's."
Boy: "What's that?"
Grandpa: "What's what?"
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Cause they don’t know where home is.
Who the heck is Kristie?
Omg, shut up guys!
I think people should date orphans, because their parents are never home.
What is the difference between a hoe's birth Daddy and her pimp Daddy?
The first daddy plants the seed in a cunt, and the second reaps the harvest from the cunt.
Alright, so I have a few orphan jokes. I'm gonna put them all in one message.
Why can't orphans be gay? They have no one to call "daddy."
Why can't orphans go on a field trip? Parent signature: ______
New teacher: I used to be an orphan as a kid. Students: hahaha Teacher: Is anyone missing? Students: No one, just your parents.
Why did the orphan become a prostitute? They kept calling everyone "daddy."
Why do orphans have the iPhoneX? Because it has no home button.
As an honest Penaldo fan, I have to admit he is a penalty merchant. He can only score against farmer teams like Spezia. He never shows up against great teams like Barcelona.
I've come to realize my hero Penaldo will never be better than Messi. My idol Penaldo is sadly finished.
Your daddy's so fat, he tripped over a rock. He thought it was a chip.
Where is the most dangerous place for a human being to be?
In the womb of a woman who wants to abort her unborn baby. 😢
How do Chinese parents name their children?
Dropping a pan down the stairs. Bing, Bong, Dong.