Worst Jokes Ever

brb makin' tic tac toe boards on myself.

Your mom is so small that she can fit in the luggage.

Yo mama is so fat, she can’t even fit in the suitcase.

Yo mama so fat, that’s why people don’t want to marry her, except for fat guys.

Your mama so fat that’s why Hulk gets big.

Yo mama so fat that the Avengers team had to snap five times and say, "Oh my God!"

A guy walks into a bar with a .44 magnum and yells: "Who the fuck fucked my wife?"

Everybody is silent for a second, then the bartender said: "Mate, you ain't got enough bullets!"

Why did the frog cross the road to hop to his side, Bih?

I have no problem getting dates online. I’ve also had luck with almonds, cashews, and walnuts.

For our anniversary, I gave my girlfriend a picture of me inside a pistachio.

But that’s just me in a nutshell.

"Don’t look! I saw you peeking through the window."

A pecan is motivated because pe-can do anything.

"Float like a butternut, sting like a bee."

Pistachio can’t, but pe-can.

Do you like my a-corn-y jokes?

If you are what you eat, does that mean all squirrels are nuts?

No pine, no gain!

You pecan do it!

I tried to come up with a funny pun about squirrels, but all my ideas were nuts.

You must be rich! You've got all the cashews.