Could a parking garage also be called a broom closet?
Worst Jokes Ever
Ugly kid, people keep saying I'm ugly.
Me: They're certainly not wrong.
"Ugly kid, I feel ugly."
"Me? You don't have feel ugly, you already ugly."
I tried dressing up as the plane that crashed into the Twin Towers for the office costume party.
It didn't land too well.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
At least one of them gets picked.
I'm still not sure how I'm not in jail or have been fined for littering. When I was born, I was born in a hospital trash can, therefore making me a literal piece of trash. That being said, any time I'm out in public, I'm a piece of litter.
Call me an escalator because I let people down.
A man walks into a magic forest, when he stumbles upon a talking tree and tries to cut it down. The tree says, "You can't cut me down, I'm a talking tree!" The man replies, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."
Depressed should be spelled "depraseed" because then they would be 1, 2, 5, 9.
Three friends go to a water park and meet a genie. "You each get one wish." "When you get to the top of the slide, you shall scream your wish as you go down." The first man went down the slide and screamed "Coca Cola," and the pool was filled with Coca-Cola.
The next ugly-ass looking mf goes down the slide and screams "C-M&Ms" as if he wasn’t just about to say cum—then the pool was full of cu—I mean M&Ms. The last horny-ass bitch is so excited he says "Weee!" Then the pool is full of piss. He was upset the pool wasn’t full of dildos./j
What do you call an orphan if every other orphan gets picked?
Someone: Ugly?
Me: No, trick question, they are still an orphan.
You know how all zodiacs have hairstyles... well not Cancers.
What if Stephen Hawking was the real Slim Shady, but couldn't stand up?
Why did the hedgehog cross the road? To show he had guts.
Why did the other hedgehog cross the road? To see his flat mate.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
My I.
May I who?
May I put this pussy on your mouth?
Some girl just walks into my 6th period geography class. The first thing I think is, "Oh shit! It's mini Regina George without titties!"
Do you know why pedos get away with molesting orphans? Who are they gonna tell? Not their parents.
What does a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus have in common? They're both thinking; "Oh sh*t, my mom's gonna kill me!"
Did you know emo kids are the highest jumpers in the world? Some are still up there!
The "w" in Africa is for water.
