Worst Jokes Ever
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
Depresso espresso.
Nah, just kidding, it's bleach.
Other girls want a guy who is 6ft, but does me being 6ft under count?
I know I'm valuable.
I come with a barcode.
Q: Can orphans watch family-friendly movies?
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They can't find home.
Why can't orphans go to school?
They don't have a home to go to.
Why can't an orphan be a criminal?
They aren't wanted.
Knock, knock.
Who is there?
Deez.
Deez who?
Deez nuts!
Hellen Keller went to town riding a pony, stuck a feather in her hat, and called it an "Unnghhtpthhh!"
What's the difference between an American and a computer?
Americans don't have trouble shooting!
I could be red, I could be orange, I could be yellow, I could be green, I could be blue, I could be purple, but I would be dead.
What’s the difference between a retard and a zombie? Nothing much, they both dribble, moan, are hungry, walk weirdly, and it takes a bullet in the head to put them both down.
Why was the belt arrested?
It held up a pair of pants.
Why didn't the dog want to play football??
'Cause he was a boxer!
I asked this kid for a high five, but he could not reach my hand.
Girl, are you a public school? Because I want to shoot my kids inside you.
What is the similarity between depressed people and hoodies?
The color black.
Not even the FBI knows where an orphan's parents are.
Your hairline is so far back you ain't got a fo'head, you got a five head!
Doctor: You should stop masturbating.
Me: Doc, I'm almost done.