Worst Jokes Ever

Why did the people in 9/11 not call 911? Because it would call the pilots.

I got in trouble in school for leaving the depressed kid hanging.

Why can't an orphan be gay? It has no one to call daddy.

Teacher: Is anyone's parents missing?

Students: Yeah, yours.

Hey, is anyone’s mom missing? Yeah, yours.

What do you call a girl above age 16 who says she is a virgin? A liar.

Have you watched the show "Naked and Afraid"? Well, I play it every Saturday with my uncle.

Yo what quacking lacking? Looking for a ducking good time? I've got some one lines and knee slappers that ought to fix the bill. What happens flied upside down? It quacks up.

When someone throws something at your forehead, it stops moving and goes into orbit around your forehead.

Hello, This is Jimmy from Jimmy's Pizzeria and Abortion Clinic! Your next loss is our next sauce! How many pizzas do you need?

What time does a duck wake up? At the quack of dawn.

What do you call a duck that can fix anything? Duck tape.

Do you know pigeons die when they have sex?

I mean, the one I fucked died.

Dinkleberg!

Yo mama is so fat, she was the iceberg in Titanic.

What’s the difference between Isaac Newton and the kid I kidnapped?

Isaac Newton died a virgin.

Evan

Who's the world's fastest readers?

9/11 victims.

Donald Trump and the Pope were standing on a platform in front of a crowd of people. The Pope said to Donald Trump, “I can make everyone in this audience happy with one small swipe of my hand.”

Donald Trump replies, “That’s not possible. You’ll have to show me.” Then the Pope slaps him.

A kid was asking a mother for money.

Mother: Sorry, I don't have money.

The kid kept asking the mother for money.

Mother: I already told you I don't have money.

The kid (the middle child): I'm your fucking child!