Your mama's so ugly, when she looked in the mirror, it said, "Viewer discretion advised!"
Worst Jokes Ever
Why did the Italian cross the road?
C'era un uliveto.
Why is Russia invading Ukraine?
«Мы хотим вернуть Советский Союз!»
Your mother is so fat, she doesn’t need...
What’s the similarity between a broken pencil and my life? They’re both pointless.
Why do orphans play GTA so much?
Because they can be wanted for once.
If you ever become depressed, try drinking a gallon of water before going to sleep... That'll give you a reason to get up in the morning.
How long does it take for a depressed person to change a light bulb?
5 days. & I’m pretty proud of myself.
What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza?
Pizza won't cut itself.
Why did the joke cross the street?
What does an orphan call a family picture?
"A selfie."
How do you get an orphan to go to sleep?
Tell them their parents are waiting when they wake up.
I was digging outside and I found my child's old toy, so I ran to find him, but I could not find him, so I was searching for about 6 hours, but then I remembered why I was digging......
People: Stop invading Ukraine!
Putin: Ukraine? you mean Mykraine.
If an old person tells you what to do just say, "At least my parents are alive!"
How to commit arson:
1. Burn down an orphanage.
I asked a man if I was the fastest gun in the west. He said my 17 wasn't good enough. After that, a lot of lead went into his head.
As tragic as school shootings are, it's also a quick way to a late-term abortion.
A lot of people ask why I only make jokes about Paul Walker and no one else.
Because they didn’t have as big of an impact as him.
A little girl said one day, "Grandma's gonna die tonight!" The next morning, the girl's grandmother's body was found.
That day she said again, "Grandpa's gonna die tonight!" Sure enough, the girl's grandfather died and his body was discovered the next morning.
That day she said, "Daddy's gonna die tonight." The girl's father was terrified. He lay shaking the entire night. Somehow, he survived until morning. His wife came into the room crying. He asked her why she was upset and she said that the postman had died last night.
