Worst Jokes Ever
"Deznuts up your ass."
Teacher: Describe Ukraine history in 3 words?
Student: Ukraine is history!
"Why is your head big?"
"'Cause you're a ball."
(1968) - Hellen Keller died, didn’t you hear?
No?
Well neither did she.
Schools be like "dRuGS arE BaD," then prescribe a 6-year-old Adderall for not wanting to sit in the same spot for 8 hours.
Teacher: "I used to be an orphan once."
Student: "That’s sad."
Teacher: "Anyways, who is away today?"
Student: "Your parents."
Emo girls be like, "How much am I worth? I don't know. Scan the code on your wrist."
Teacher: What does the pig give us? Student: Bacon.
Teacher: Very good. How about the chicken? Student: Meat.
Teacher: Good, now what would a fat cow give you? Student: Homework.
I like my men like I like my Alexa:
By my bed and turned on.
I like my men like I like my coffee: black and hot.
Three men walk into a bar. The 1st says, "Hey, how's it going?" The 2nd one says, "Great!" But then the 3rd man says, "Hello, where did my wife go? I swear she was just here!" What happened to the 3rd guy's wife?
(Girl) Do you ever blink?
(Doll) (No reply).
(Girl) You look like a mannequin!
(Doll) (No reply).
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
I eat mop.
A-I eat mop who?
Your hairline goes sooooo far back that dinosaurs exist on it.
Your hairline is so bad that it makes Lebron's hairline look normal.
Jokes about menstruation are never funny, period!
Once an orphan got a girlfriend. He regretted it. She left him too.
I work as an IT technician. The other day, I had to fix Cristiano Ronaldo’s laptop. He pointed to a message on the screen saying, “Do you consent to cookies?” He said that he doesn’t eat cookies and doesn’t know what consent means, so that’s why he called me.
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
... family photo.
Helen threw up gang signs her whole life and didn't know.