Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?
In case they get a hole in one!
Your mom is like a penny: two-faced, flat, and always in someone's pants.
A customer came to me and asked for condoms for tiny dicks.
What is Forrest Gump’s email password?
1forrest1.
What do you call a dead woman in the back of your car?
Idk, I just have a couple in the backseat.
One day, Little Johnny walks in on his dad getting dressed and asked, "What is that, Daddy?" Dad said, "Oh, that's my snake." The next day, Little Johnny walks in on his mom getting dressed and asks, "What is that?" Mom says, "That's my bushes." The next day, Little Johnny can't sleep, so he goes into his parents' room and asks Dad, "Why is your snake going into Mom's bushes?"
Why do Imagine Dragons dream about mythical creatures?
Because they're believers.
Me: I just came home from Africa, and guess what I saw.
Friend: I don't know.
Me: A black market.
Me: What is the difference between your mom and a mosquito?
Friend: Let me guess, they both suck you.
Me: Can I get your mom's number?
Friend: Here you go:
Me: Ohh, strange, I already had it.
why couldint a orphan play baseball
he couldint find home plate
Why did your emo mom get you?
To have someone to hang out with.
How do you tell if a blond is really stupid?
Put a scratch and sniff on a bleach pod.
How many baby's does it take to paint a wall depends on how hard you throw it
What do you call a swimming terrorist?
A bath bomb.
What do u call a black person in a swimming pool. Coco pops
The Stigg
Hoes be like, "I've been through a lot."
No, a lot's been through you.
Hears a clean joke: My horse got muddy, so I gave him a bubble bath.
Now hears a dirty joke: Bubbles is the horse next door.
Did you know, the average gay person likes men?
