Haha, I have my own joke category now!
Jack fucked Jill's pussy till it stopped functioning.
Where in the nursery rhyme does it say Humpty Dumpty was an egg?
You're more likely to be killed by a cow than by a shark.
Ricardo Medina, one of the former red Power Rangers, pleaded guilty to killing his roommate with a sword.
Without Ronaldo, United would have been: - Eliminated from the UCL in groups! - 13th in the league!
Without Messi, PSG would have been: - Still 1st in the league. - Better chance at beating RM in the UCL.
Who's supposed to be the goat?
i want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandpa, not screaming in terror like everyone else in the plane.
If Finding Nemo was scientifically correct, Marlin would have changed into a female and mated with Nemo.
Why can't an orphan have an Ipad?
They can't find the home button.
Why does this category seem to have the most retold and recycled jokes on this website?
Fun fact: Pringles are named Pringles because somebody decided to name them Pringles.
Q: What do Burger King and Michael Jackson have in common?
A: They put meat on five-year-old buns.
I bet my friend $5 that he would drown in the lake ... It was a bittersweet victory
What do you call a blonde in the freezer? Her parents named her Jessica, so we should probably continue to call her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.
If at first, you don’t succeed... then skydiving definitely isn’t for you
It’s sad how my friend was struck from the medical register for sleeping with a patient.
He was a great vet.
Dentist: “This will hurt a little.”
Patient: “OK.”
Dentist: “I’m having an affair with your wife!”
During a show, I once asked the crowd if they were pro-guns, and the majority belted out in approval.
I asked a man in the front row why he was pro-guns, and he gave me the basic “personal protection liberty 2nd amendment” hooplah.
Very seriously, I told the crowd, “I’m pro-guns because I enjoy living in a world with only four Nirvana albums.”
My friend was the only one who laughed.
Abortion is becoming more and more expensive these days. So visit Ammu-nation and pick up an Armsan RS-X1 tactical shotgun. It comes with a free box of ammo and a three year warranty. Buy now, pay later.
Good Evening Twitter, this is your boy EatDatPussy445, and about like 30-45 minutes ago, I beat the f*** out of my dick so god damn hard that I can't even feel my left leg, my left leg has went totally numb. And, my dick has also went totally numb, to the point where it feels f***ing weird when I go and take a piss.
