Worst Jokes Ever
My girlfriend said she's having a horrible time with her period. I ask her which one, but realize she's not talking about school...
We don't see each other very much.
"Who am I? Why am I typing?"
There were people having sex when it started sinking. Legend tells when you go near the ship you can see semen, and if you listen close enough you'll hear them moaning.
Now that's a hell of a ghost story!
I can't imagine him moaning with the kids, "Hi, uh, ya daddy, uh HEE!"
The kid with a gun walked into my classroom and fucking shot the teacher.
He pointed the gun at me and asked, "What's 2+2?" I answer him and he writes the answer down on his test. He did this with every kid. He got a 100%, expelled, and a lifetime in prison. Hey, at least he gets free food.
A bird was on a branch at school today. I turn away to talk to my friends, and another bird was there when I turned around. I turn around again, and the birds are having fucking sex!!!
What the fuck.
Now I've seen everything.
I have one policy, and that is to not make fun of black people.
Sorry, Jesus. You were white in the Bible pictures.
Jesus got rejected. A few years later, he died. He came back just to lose his virginity because even Jesus is not a fucking cunt.
Jesus got rejected. A few years later he died. He came back just to lose his virginity because even Jesus is not a fucking cunt.
Get off this site and go have some sex, you fucking virgins.
God damn it. Fuck Christianity. I'm fucking 30 years old and still a virgin.
THAT'S A JOKE GOD DAMMIT!
Little Johnny likes to play with toy guns.
Little Johnny paints them black.
Little Johnny went to a gun store.
Little Johnny made a big mess.
The cemetery people were getting paid.
Yo Father, don't use the baptism bath. I cleaned my anal plug in there.
What?
The holy water gets all the ass off. Don't mind the white stuff. *clears throat*
You know it's so hard to clean my sex toys. Thank you, Jesus, for creating baptism.
Why do they act so emo?
Because they are all retards.
President: Them damn flat faced n**g*rs!!
Man: We have the power of the sun itself!
President: Drop it on them!
Man: You push the button.
President: *sigh* Fine give it to me.
Man: Hands over button
President: Pushes it
Both: YAAA!
President: Bumps into the button pressing it again
Both: Oh, sh*t!
Meanwhile in Japan after the first bomb went off
Japanese man: Ah sh*t here we go again
The two brothers were sitting next to each other. They played with planes all day long. They got too violent, and now their sister (World Trade Center) stands there. The brothers were put up for adoption, and the planes were given back to their owners.
What state starts with an "a a lama"?
I love Alabama. I live there. I have a sign that says, "Sweet Home Alabama!"
What is it called when a depressed person gets a stroke?
A stroke of luck :)
Why are cheetahs not good at hiding?
They’re always spotted!