The terrorists said over the intercom, "We're coming up to our destination, so we can't go over it, we can't go under, we have to go through it."
What's the difference between your mom and a mosquito?
Answer: The mosquito stops sucking if you slap hard enough
Why would the chicken not cross the road?
Because it's too old. (The joke is old.) (The chicken is old.)
Why are Americans bad at clash of clans?
Because they have already lost 2 towers
You can play Jenga in two places now: New York and Miami (Chaplin Towers.) They probably have Jenga tournaments there every year.
I'm gonna jump to my death.
Don't worry. I won't jump far.
Just off this chair here...
Did you hear of the guy who was sad about being in a wheelchair? He had that crippling depression.
Chris Benoit is like a depressed orphan because he killed his family.
Wanna know why people laugh at you? Because your life is a joke
What's the difference between a used condom and the UCP? The condom was actually useful at one point.
dont make jokes about the accident my dad died in it he was the best pilot in all of Saudi Arabia :(
what dose Michele jackson and a xbox have in common .....
kids turn them on
Your hairline is so bad that it turned Wonder Woman into Failure Man.
Sissy Baka
Bitch
Roses are red,
foxes are red,
I like your butt, let me touch it forever.
I made a website for orphans
it does not have a home page
Kid: Knock knock! Orphan: Who's there? Kid: Not your parents XD
Bully: *Bullies kid* Orphan: Stop!! *Cries* Bully: What are you gonna do? Tell your parents?? XD Orphan: :/
A teacher asked her young students to get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories. There were all the regular type of stuff.
But then the teacher realized that only Janie was left. "Janie, do you have a story to share?" "Yes madam... My daddy told me a story about my Mom." "OK, let’s hear,” said the teacher.
“My Mom was a Marine pilot in Operation Desert Storm in Iraq and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife. She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn’t break and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops.” “She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.”
Pin drop silence in the class!
"Good Heavens," said the horrified teacher, "What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?"
“Stay away from Mummy when she’s drunk...!!!”
What's the single worst terrestrial species? Humans, obviously.
