What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
"Windows 10 shutting down."
Worst Jokes Ever
What's the difference between being gay and straight? Well, it is the hole.
i raped a dog. When asked how her experience was, she said ruff
What's the difference between me and the rest of America?
I love one and hate the other.
I hate this website. It sucks. Like if you agree!
What do McDonald's and priests have in common?
They both shove their meat into 10-year-old buns.
I think it was wrong for that school shooter to end his life at the scene.
He could have done some good by becoming some lonely lifer's bottom.
Mom: “Guess where I’m taking you, son!”
Son: “To the playground?”
Mom: “No, to the morgue.”
You're so skinny that your mom had to use a whole shampoo bottle on your head, but she still couldn’t find you.
What do you call a Chinese man with one leg? Tie one shoe.
Your hairline looks like a car!
Why was Hitler broke?
The gas prices are outrageous.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because his wife changed the Wi-Fi password.
What do you call an orphan in a wheelchair running into fire?
Hot wheels.
What makes Mrs. Grape 🍇 a good mother?
Raisin' her kids!
What do you call an orphan who grows up to become a priest?
Father Les.
What do my wife and dinner have in common? They are both vegetables.
Life is like a raisin cookie you expected to be chocolate.
Disappointing.
Me and rose bushes have something in common: mangled, can hurt, red, and people only like one part.
Butcher knives are great tools for cutting many things!
Fruit, vegetables, my arms.
