Worst Jokes Ever
People on the Titanic were cracking up at my jokes, so did the Titanic. No, really, the Titanic cracked in half!
What's Jack's favorite flower? A rose.
I scanned an emo girl's arm the other day. Now I own her, only 3.99 with tax. That's a steal and a half, woopeeee!
Q: What's a ship's least favorite food? A: Iceburg-ers
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite food? Beef stroganoff.
Nepali people are so fucking racist, like I want them all to be extinct.
All Nepali love momos.
How do you get into Hogwarts? Through the Dumble Door.
What do you call a room with no doors?
A man found a chest full of gold, so he went to go tell his wife, only to remember why he was digging.
What do Indians call their father when they are born?
Data.
What's the difference between me and Elizabeth Afton?
Her dad always comes back.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple...
An apple has a family tree.
Did you hear about the dwarf that had his wallet stolen? Just how low can you get?
"You are stupid. You can’t even ride a baby pony!"
A 17 year old pregnant Juanita flew all the way to NY from TX to get an abortion. Initially, she was denied the procedure because she wasn't COVID boosted, but after she explained the father was religious and wanted to be involved, they quickly resolved the threat.
What does Pikachu and an orphan have in common?
Pikachu, I choose you!
Why do people think Jesus is going to come back? He wasn’t nailed to a fucking boomerang!
Things I would’ve missed if my suicide attempt didn’t fail in 2020.
My attempt in 2021.
And my attempt this year.
Little Johnny was told by his friend that if you go to your parents and say: "I know the truth," they give you money.
So Little Johnny says to his mum, "I know the truth," so his mum hands him 20 dollars and tells him not to tell anyone. So when Little Johnny’s dad gets home, Little Johnny says, "I know the truth." His dad hands him $50 and says not to tell anyone. So Little Johnny tries it on the postman and says, "I know the truth," and the postman says, "Come here, son."