I bought a silencer for my gun, but I don't think it works.
My victims still scream.
Worst Jokes Ever
How do you help a starving cannibal?
You give him a hand!
Did you hear about the cannibal who converted to Catholicism?
On Fridays, he only eats fishermen!
What do you call the American healthcare plan for poor people?
Death.
Why do poor people eat insects?
Because they're locust!
What has two butts and kills people?
An assassin.
You know if you poo on the toilet at 11:59 PM...
Then at 12:01 AM, it's just the same shit, different day...
Whenever I have diarrhea, my roommate gets constipated.
When I told him this, he said, "Are you kidding me?"
I said, "I shit you not."
What is the difference between anal sex and a microwave? A microwave doesn't brown your meat.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I only do anal, I thought you knew.
You're so fat, when you step on a scale it says, "To be continued."
You’re so fat; if you go outside now, you’d be arrested for breaking social distancing guidelines.
What does a perverted frog say?
"Rubbit."
What’s the last thing Tickle Me Elmo receives before leaving the factory?
Two test tickles.
Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack?
He only comes once a year.
I didn't come into the prostitution business...
It came into me.
The other day I started watching Game of Thrones.
I told my friend about it. Told him all about the violence, murder, decapitation, gore, sex, gay sex, midget sex, prostitution, rape, paedophilia, incest, and inbreeding... And he was like: "Oh, so you're still on the first episode then?"
What's the main similarity between an elementary school math class and the USA?
The class divides.
What is Instagram called in USA?
Instaounce.
If you ever feel useless... Just remember that if you ever feel useless... Just remember that it took the US 4 presidents, trillions of dollars, thousands of lives, and 20 years to replace the Taliban with... the Taliban.
