Worst Jokes Ever
What’s the issue with 9/11 jokes?
They never land.
Just like the planes.
All hail President Trump!
Your mummy so skinny, she can't eat!
So, there was a male whale and a female whale swimming through the ocean. One day the male whale sees a ship and says, "That's the ship that killed my parents!" So they go to the ship and blow the ship over and throw the men overboard into the sea.
The male whale sees the man who killed his parents and he was still alive, so he opened his mouth and went for the man, but out of nowhere the female whale yells, "Hey!! I was in it for the blowjob, but I'm not gonna eat seamen!"
That bloke Dean's a cunt!
Seeing so many balding college students is so sad. Like, why the fuck is your hairline graduating before you?!?
If the USA is so good,
Why did they make a USB?
I've started playing the triangle for a reggae band. It's pretty casual.
I just stand at the back and ting.
Oh well, I.H.N.! I.H.N.!! I.H.N.!!!
New BBC Geordie police drama set in Honolulu.
Haway Five O.
You: You are such a flick pain.
Me: You are flick pain to my sight.
What’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!
What’s better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!
What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!
What does a baby computer call his father? Data!
What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear!
Why did the golfer change his pants? Because he got a hole in one!
Does anyone need an ark? I Noah guy!
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying “Ooh, I love how smooth it is.”
Chris said to me in P.E. that he likes Jacob, and he said he wants to go straight to the bedroom.
Jacob likes fucking me and my mom.
Jacob Colletto
It's still depression, by the way.
This is not a joke. Have you ever thought about it? You’re an emo while wearing black. So what if you are black? Does that mean you’re an emo because you are black and emos wear black? ;)
Hi, bye.
Joke start.
Punchline!
Why did Jesus create the Devil?
He didn't recognize himself through the time portal.