Worst Jokes Ever

I pushed a kid in a wheelchair and said, "Hot Wheels!"

What do you call a garage that is gay?

A gyarge.

Don't you just love wrecking little girl's pussies? Like the tight feeling is just amazing. The great amount [of] ecstasy you feel when you cum and they get all squirmy. It's just the best.

I bet Kobe failed flying school.

If Kobe missed a shot, his helicopter will too.

I'm dead serious about Kobe: Kobe in heaven...

What do you say to the USA after 9/11? Checkmate.

My older sister said she was gonna shoot herself, so I did it for her.

I teach orphans.

But the problem is I can't give them homework.

Hey, you know what I told the kid in a wheelchair?

I told him to be a stand-up comedian!

Me: "Gift a homeless kid iPhone 7."

The kid: But it has no home button.

Me: Exactly. 💀

Wanna know why the plane actually crashed?

Someone turned off flight mode.

(Or a kid just turned on airplane mode.)

Grass.

Why did the orphan go to the playground?

To see if it could find its parents.

Mom, can I be a firefighter when I grow up?

Mom: Oh, you won't grow up, Caillou.

Why was 10 scared because it was in the middle of 9/11?

Uhhhh ohhhhhhh yea (moan).

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they can't find home run.

Lemme just say one thing:

Depression is not funny. Two of my best friends have it, and it's actually quite hard to watch them suffer with it. They cry all the time, they get upset all the time, they either have wanted to or still do want to kill themselves. It's really not funny to joke about depression.

The F in orphans stands for family...