Worst Jokes Ever

What did Donald Trump serve to Justin Trudeau at a state dinner?

Poutine with Russian dressing!

I was reading a book one day when I suddenly heard a sound. It was the Grim Reaper. I ignored it and continued reading my book. Suddenly, I realized that I was one of the main characters, which, at the end, dies.

I used to like fireworks, but I'm dead now. Fireworks look like a charm if you don't mind something a little ghostly.

What lies beneath your nose and is being picked on? Your boogers.

Your friend is so fat, when he took the group pic, he was the background.

What did the lettuce say when she is popping the champagne?

I gave a blind kid a gun and said it was a hairdryer.

Why did the Secret Service detain Johnny Depp at the White House?

Because he was about to kick the cabinet.

I'd love to move to a country ruled by Scott Stapp of Creed. Not only is it a place with golden streets, but it also welcomes people of all kinds with arms wide open.

What's the difference between Lana Del Rey and Milli Vanilli?

Milli Vanilli won a Grammy.

Did you hear about the new Oasis restaurant?

Every time you order soup, you got a roll with it.

Johnny Depp, Michael Jackson, and Marilyn Manson all walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Why don't you take a seat, right over there?" Turns out the bartender was Chris Hansen himself.

What's the difference between Johnny Depp and Eminem? Eminem was never proven to beat his wife in court, but Johnny Depp was.

Why are priests called father? Because it's too sus to call them daddy!

What's Juice WRLD's favorite place to shop at?

Answer: Forever 21.

Why don't orphans play baseball?

Because they can't find home.

What did the doctor say to the Chinese man?

"Some ting wong."

How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Only Juan.

How many white guys does it take to screw a lightbulb?

None. They hire me to do it.

What’s a Mexican's favorite sport?

Cross-country.

#shorts

If you're happy and you know it, f*** your mom.