Worst Jokes Ever

Do you know Candice?

Nope.

Candice dick fit in your mouth.

Do you know Mike Hawk? No, who is he? Mike Hawk in your MOUTH!

Doctor: I have bad news.

Man: What?

Doctor: There are two things wrong with you. First, you have cancer.

Man: Oh, no...

Doctor: Second, you have Alzheimer's.

Man: Well, at least I don't have cancer!

Man with cancer: How much time do I have left?

Doctor: Ten.

Man: Weeks? Months? Days?

Doctor: Nine, eight, seven...

What makes sad people jump? Bridges.

Did you hear the joke about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.

Why did the blind man fall in the well? Because he couldn't see that well.

LEZZZZZZ GOOOOO! 69 FOLLOWERS!

Why can't you run with a pencil in the hallway? Because too many people got killed!

There are two types of people, avoid them both.

What's the difference between school and Hell?

There is no difference.

What is the biggest lie ever?

"I have read and agreed to the terms and conditions."

Did you hear that song about 9/11? It was a real banger!

I was at work and then a little kid came up to me and she said, "What happened to all the parents?" She sounded so confused, so I told her, "It's only yours, kid, they left you on purpose." She cried. I felt bad for a second and thought, oh well, time to get back to my job at the orphanage.

Bully: Ha, guess what?

Nerd: What?

Bully: You are adopted.

Nerd: At least I was wanted!

What movie do orphans hate? Full House 🏠

Your mum is so fat, when I was driving I had to swerve to avoid [her]. By the time I had finished, I had ran out of gas.

Why can’t orphans play baseball?

Because they don’t have a home to run to.

(amazing pick up line) Yoo, what if we got matching tattoos? You get two towers and I get a plane, because I crashed right into your life!

What do you call it when you have two Indians, one Black, and a fat White?

A s'more.