YO MAMA! Yo mama so FAT... i tried to picture her in my head... AND SHE BROKE MY GOD DAMN NECK!
What's the difference between a blowjob and cough syrup?
They can both give you relief and make you gag at the same time.
Kiwi: she's here!!
2022
Kiwi loves brad
Kiwi loves men.
Kiwi's forehead is so big when he leaves to go to work he has to use a sunroof to drive. 😏
Orphan: I’m gonna tell my parents! Me: where are they? Orphan: ̄\_(ツ)_/ ̄
SpongeBob did 9/11
Who can jump the highest? Depressed asses some say they’re still in the air
What do an orphan's parents and Nemo have in common
They both can't be found
What’s the best way to make sure you don’t get COVID?
Suicide.
Orphan, why can’t I watch a PG movie?
Because they are Parental Guidance.
This midget in my school has two moms. I said, "Did your dad go get the milk?" He told me to shut up. I said, "I don’t shut up, I grow up like you should."
What movie does an orphan hate?
- No Way Home.
this orphan showed me a family photo but it was just a selfie
i wish my hair was emo so it would cut itself
There was once a young sister who never got anything good for her birthday, and she was sick of it. So one day the girl asked for a puppy, and the parents said yes.
When she got the puppy, he was nice, but the puppy needed food every two minutes. The parents eventually got sick of it and came up with a plan. Two weeks passed and the younger and less fat sister asked where her other sister was as she wanted to play Barbies. “And also, why haven’t you been feeding the dog? He needs food, you know.” The parents only answered with “Oh! Yes, you can have a room all to yourself now. And about the puppy...he won’t need feeding for years.”
What does an orphan call a family portrait?
A selfie
Michael J. Fox walks into an ice cream parlor.
The man behind the counter asks Michael, "Can I help you?"
Michael exclaims, "I would like an ice cream."
The man behind the counter asks, "What flavor?"
Michael says, "It doesn't matter what flavor, I'm gonna fucken drop it anyway."
The poacher agrees but says that his assistant is ill and will need the man to come with him in his assistant's place. The man agrees, and so the poacher goes out to the jungle with the man.
The poacher brings a pair of handcuffs, a long stick, a shotgun, and a dog. They search through the jungle for about an hour and then spot a male gorilla above in the treetops.
The man asks the poacher what the plan is. The poacher replies, "I'm going to climb the tree and, when I get close enough, I'm going to start poking the gorilla with the stick until it falls out of the tree.
The dog is a specially trained dog. When the gorilla falls out of the tree, the dog will try to bite off the gorilla's balls. When the gorilla moves its hands to protect its balls, you put the handcuffs on it."
This all seems to make sense to the man, but he has one question. "What is the shotgun for?" he asks the poacher. The poacher responds: "If I fall out of the tree before the gorilla, shoot the dog."
