Why did the 767 fly into the towers?
Because a310 dared it to.
How do you get more presents from Santa? You tickle his sack.
What did Al-Shehhi say to Mohamed Atta?
"We are on time!"
Obama: It smells like UpNigga in here...
Trump: What's UpNigga?
Obama: Omg did you say the n word?? Die!!!
So, two people are on a date and the guy says, "Wow, you are so beautiful!"
Then the girl says, "You just want to have sex!"
Then the guy adds, "SMART TO!"
what is like batman
7 year old Christian: *walks up to atheist menacingly* YoU nEeD sOmE jEsUs SaViNg!
Atheist: You prey to a Jewish zombie and I need saving?
Have y'all ever heard of dad jokes? Y'all hairline is funnier than those.
What the difference between me and cancer
My mom did beat cancer
James Woods, starring in the newest movie: "September 11, two thousand fun."
A friend sits across from me at class so I asked if she wants to hang out sometimes. She said yes, so I called her over to my house, and that's the day I found out she was a guy.
The moral of the story: don't try to fuck your friends.
Coworker:Knock knock orphan: who’s there coworker: not your parents
Me in 2078 when the COVID-19 delta alpha theta beta cya layta alligayta nlgga chungus sussy deef clussy sussy bussy cunnybrap variant comes out and I need to stay in lockdown for another 2 years with my new mandated virus stopper buttplug 9000.
How do you make Prince Andrew sad? You tell him you're over 16.
Hey, I just found out my toaster is waterproof! :D
The best way to enjoy port arthur is to shoot through- a quote by comedian Isaac Butterfield
The best way to enjoy Port Arthur is to shoot through--a quote by hilarious comedian Isaac Butterfield.
What's the difference between paul walker and a computer? I care when my computer crashes
What do you call a different spaghetti? An impasta!
PAPYRUS: WHAT DO YOU CALL A DIFFERENT SPAGHETTI SANS?
SANS: What?
PAPYRUS: AN IMPASTA!
SANS: Good one.
Orphan: What are you doing tonight?
Me: Your mum... oh wait, you don't have one.
