Worst Jokes Ever

The warden gave them a choice of three ways to die: to be shot, to be hung, or to be injected with the AIDS virus for a slow death.

So the German said, "Shoot me right in the head." Boom, he was dead instantly.

Then the Italian said, "Just hang me." Snap, he was dead.

Then the Irishman said, "Give me some of that AIDS stuff." They gave him the shot, and the Irishman fell down laughing. The guards looked at each other and wondered what was wrong with this guy.

Then the Irishman said, "Give me another one of those shots," so the guards did. Now he was laughing so hard, tears rolled from his eyes and he doubled over.

Finally, the warden said, "What is wrong with you?"

The Irishman replied, "You guys are so stupid... I'm wearing a condom!"

What’s the difference between anal and oral sex?

Oral sex makes your day. Anal makes your hole weak.

What did the mad penis say to the vagina? “Don’t make me come in there!”

A vagina is like the weather. Once it’s wet, it’s time to go inside.

What’s long and hard and full of semen?

A submarine.

What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? “If we don’t get some support, people will think we’re nuts.”

How can you tell if your husband is dead?

The sex is the same, but you get to use the remote.

My AI assistant told me it wanted to go deeper...

...into the algorithm. I misunderstood. Now I’m banned from the lab.

I told AI to talk dirty to me. It started describing my browser history.

You ever try sexting with AI? Every time I type “I’m coming,” it replies, “Coming where? Need directions?”

Why did Playboi Carti’s partner complain about their love life? Because he kept repeating the same track and never reached the climax.

A man wakes up and asks his wife, “Are you okay? You were cursing me all night in your sleep.” The wife replies, “Who says I was sleeping?”

When slave owners can't get a girlfriend, do they MASTERbate?

Why is it that every time I masturbate, things get out of hand?

In Jr. high, we all had to do a report on euthanasia. I misunderstood and wrote a report on how I'd really like a Korean girlfriend.

When a redhead commits a mass shooting, does the headline read, "Ginger snaps"?

Why do I support slavery?

Because I’m white.

It's often said that people peaked in high school.

I think Trump peaked in kindergarten.

I don't beat up midgets.

That would be punching down.

Once a woman suspected that her husband was fucking their daughter at night. So she made a plan. That night, she gave her daughter sleeping pills and told her husband that you go to sleep, I have a headache and I will sleep on the sofa in the drawing room today. After everyone slept, she picked up her sleeping daughter and laid her on the sofa and went to her bed and lay down. After an hour, the door of the room opened and one man entered the room and jumped on the bed and fucked her intensely for 2 hours. Then she turned on the light with the bed switch and said, "You definitely didn't expect me." "I definitely didn't expect you, MOM! But you are more delicious than sister"! Her son replied in surprise!