I teach orphans.
But the problem is I can't give them homework.
Worst Jokes Ever
Hey, you know what I told the kid in a wheelchair?
I told him to be a stand-up comedian!
Me: "Gift a homeless kid iPhone 7."
The kid: But it has no home button.
Me: Exactly. 💀
Wanna know why the plane actually crashed?
Someone turned off flight mode.
(Or a kid just turned on airplane mode.)
Grass.
Why did the orphan go to the playground?
To see if it could find its parents.
Mom, can I be a firefighter when I grow up?
Mom: Oh, you won't grow up, Caillou.
Why was 10 scared because it was in the middle of 9/11?
Uhhhh ohhhhhhh yea (moan).
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home run.
Lemme just say one thing:
Depression is not funny. Two of my best friends have it, and it's actually quite hard to watch them suffer with it. They cry all the time, they get upset all the time, they either have wanted to or still do want to kill themselves. It's really not funny to joke about depression.
The F in orphans stands for family...
Why are orphans gay? To call someone "daddy."
Okay, boys are known to measure their dicks, but do girls measure their depths?
Why do midgets laugh while they run?
The grass tickles their balls.
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire and said, "Hot Wheels!"
Child abortion is like tax evasion: the more you lose, the less problems you have.
Can we stop talking about 9/11? I lost my dad in it.
He was a great pilot.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
Why is 10 so scared? Because he is right in the middle of 9/11.
