Worst Jokes Ever
Have you ever heard of the Russian politician who was so afraid of the dark that, instead of going to the bathroom at night, he would use a metal tin that he kept underneath his bed?
His name is Vladimir Pootin.
What do you call a tire that is tired?
A tire, I guess. ❤️
You. Me. Gas station. What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh! There was a roofie in our gas station sushi. We black out and wake up in a sewer surrounded by fish.
Horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy. The stench draws in a bear. What do we do? We're gonna fight it. Bear fight. Bare handed. Bare, naked? Oh, yes please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl and ride it into a Chuck E. Cheese. Dance Dance Revolution. Revolution? Overthrow the government? Uh, I think so. Next thing you know, I'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then I turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out, which I didn't even know you could do. Then I smoked a joint, greened out. Then I turn into the sun. Uh oh! Looks like the meth is kicking in. aklfhaofhasfahfakh AAAAAAAAA afahfioahflkf AAAAA
Why do orphans like boomerangs? Because they actually came back...
What do Wal-Mart and Michael Jackson have in common?
They both have little boy's pants 1⁄2 off...
What's an orphan's favorite Roblox game?
"Adopt Me."
An emo and a leaf fall out of a tree. Which hits the ground first? The leaf. The rope stopped the emo.
What's the most optimistic blood type? B+.
What disease causes wrinkled clothes? An iron deficiency.
They always say you are what you eat! So I’d be nothing. That sounds about right.
Did you know that you can die from laughing? Well, that’s why I laugh so much.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I see you, I see you; you would have to work out.
In memory of Michael Jackson, Starbucks and various other establishments are introducing the Jackson tea. It's 50 year old water, with a 7 year old tea bag.
Michael has canceled his upcoming dates. They were Tommy, age 9, and Bobby, 11.
What does Michael Jackson like to carry around? A little ball sack.
What do cannibals eat to freshen their teeth?
Mentos.
My ex wanted to humiliate me in front of her friends, so she said I was useless in bed.
Should have seen her face when they all disagreed.
I was digging a hole in my garden, then I found a treasure chest. I was so happy. I went to tell my wife, but then I remembered why I was digging a hole.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they just sit in the dark and cry.
What does an orphan call a family photo taking a selfie?
What does Godzilla eat for dinner?
The dinner.