My friend asked me why I haven’t had milk in six years.
I told him my dad never came back with it.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite football anthem?
You'll Never Walk Alone.
Me: What do you want to do for your birthday?
Fiancé: I want to go somewhere I've never been before!
Me: Well welcome to the Kitchen!
I'm jealous of the people who never met you.
I got carded at a liquor store, and my Blockbuster card accidentally fell out. The cashier said, "Never mind."
Mine never stops.
Why did McDonald’s kill somebody because they stole the 12-piece nuggets that will never be seen because of them!
I told a crying kid to wipe his tears and come back smiling.
He never came back the next day, says the local news.
Why don't orphans need parent approval for their wedding?
Because they never came home.
I once masturbated in the bathroom.
I was looking for something, for a little help.
Looked in the wardrobe and found something perfect.
I'LL NEVER SEE A TOOTHBRUSH THE SAME WAY AGAIN!
Jonny went fishing and he didn’t know how to cast his pole, and he asked his friend Joe how to cast it. Then when he cast, he only cast 3 feet, and he never learned how to do it.
Life is never hard until you get hit hard with reality.
Yo hairline so far, that if you put tables on it, it would NEVER end.
Why you should never borrow money from dwarves?
Because they are always short! 😁😁😁😁
I never get off on the wrong foot.
The bears came home. Daddy bear said, "Who's been eating my porridge?" said, "Who's been in my porch?" Baby bear said, "Never mind about the porridge, who knocked the telly?"
No matter how hard I try, I will never be a stand-up comedian.
A weasel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Wow, I’ve never seen a weasel before. What can I get you?”
“Pop,” goes the weasel.
My best friend is an orphan, and we try to have sleepovers, but his parents never say yes.
Did your dad ever tell you he was going to get milk... But then never came back lol? 😅
