Need jokes
Man 1: Dude, Viagra is for pussies. Real men don’t need Viagra.
Man 2: I thought Viagra was for dicks?
The poacher agrees but says that his assistant is ill and will need the man to come with him in his assistant's place. The man agrees, and so the poacher goes out to the jungle with the man.
The poacher brings a pair of handcuffs, a long stick, a shotgun, and a dog. They search through the jungle for about an hour and then spot a male gorilla above in the treetops.
The man asks the poacher what the plan is. The poacher replies, "I'm going to climb the tree and, when I get close enough, I'm going to start poking the gorilla with the stick until it falls out of the tree.
The dog is a specially trained dog. When the gorilla falls out of the tree, the dog will try to bite off the gorilla's balls. When the gorilla moves its hands to protect its balls, you put the handcuffs on it."
This all seems to make sense to the man, but he has one question. "What is the shotgun for?" he asks the poacher. The poacher responds: "If I fall out of the tree before the gorilla, shoot the dog."
Why did the rapper oil up his notepad?
In case he needed to DROP some FREESTYLE NOTES!
How is sex like air?
It’s not a big deal unless you aren’t getting any.
His neighbor asked Hodja,
"Do you have some forty-year-old vinegar?"
"I have," answered Hodja.
"Would you give me some? I need it to prepare a medication," said the man.
"No, I won't," replied Hodja. "If I had given some to everybody who asked for it, would I have it for forty years?"
Stephen is lucky he doesn’t need a vibrator.
He’s got himself.
My mom was cooking dinner and asked me if I could get her a cutting board.
"No, I need you to take off your shirt and lay on the island so I can cut some chicken."
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Isabell?
Isabell really needs to go on a bicycle.
Yo mama so fat, she needs two watches for each timezone.
You're so full of shit that you need a colostomy bag to clean you out.
I'm at school and this website isn't blocked, and I need help on who did 9/11?
Why did the 18-year-old girl need a ladder to go to school?
Because it was High School.
I'm lonely, but all I have is my cheeseburger, but what is the matter of living if you only have one thing?
But a cheeseburger is all you need 'cause it has 1,000,000,000,000 bucks man, so I can't just take it and spend it wherever I want.
What’s the difference between an orphan and a donut?
People want donuts.
My mom said, "Don't jump off, we need you."
I said, "No," then I jumped off a building and died.
You’ll need a bib when you’re done eating my ribs.
Is it far enough? We publish interviews with people who know a lot about real wars.
Peace: On one case, that's true, but violence is the slogan for it.
Socialism: Yes, morning and evening. So the Sorce Streftator's work must be stopped!
Maoist: Yes, I like Walken Engspert.
Anarchist: Claire, this is why we don't need democracy, I'm Das Zoe Melsen.
Capitalism: Yes, but the truth is that he is ignorant and cannot be considered as an old leader, but as an employee.
Governor: Yes, but a strong left should be as strong as Minister Janomen Vardan or Director Januso Gavrelic.
Patriots: Are there simple megalithic laws?
What's the difference between Jesus and a picture? You need only one nail to hang a picture.
Yo mama so fat, she needs 17 iPhones to take a selfie.
frshfry we need to talk now!