Need

Need jokes

Kid

  • One time a kid came to the hospital and said, "I really need help." The kid said he was really hot, so they put an ice cold towel on him.

    Then the doctor asked him if he had any problems, and he said, "Yes, I am really hot." The doctor realized that he looked fine, so he said, "Are you sure? You look amazing." And the kid said that he meant to say, "I look hot!"

  • 2
  • Magic Trick

  • I told my mom, "Do you want to see a magic trick?" She said yes. I said, "You are going to have a hot dog and cream pie together." My mom said, "No, I'm not," but I told my mom, "I'm going to need your assistance." First, I need you to lick and suck on my hot dog that is attached to me, which she did. The next minute my mom has a cream pie over her face. Then I told my mom, "You see, you are going to have a hot dog and cream pie together." Then my mom said, "When you are right, you are right."

  • 0
  • Incest

  • My family is lucky I was born so smart. Every time my Dad is struggling at work, he always turns to me when he needs to get ahead.

  • 3
  • Baby

  • I'm just a prom night dumpster baby I got no mam or dad. Prom night dumpster baby My story isn't long, but boy, it's awfully sad. Although I came from a hole (Although I came from a hole) I'm singin' right from the soul (I'm singin' right from the soul)

    My fanny needs a blanket And somebody to spank it I miss my mam But she's at the prom So I'm prom night dumpster baby Prom night dumpster baby

    And I'm takin' a stroll (He's taking a stroll) I'm takin' a stroll (He's taking a stroll) I'm takin' a stroll (He's taking a stroll) Hahaha, I'm takin' a stroll (He's taking a stroll)

  • 2
  • 2023

  • People in 1 Ad: I bet we will have the best technology ever in 2023.

    2023: GO BACK NOW! THERE'S 50 THOUSAND GENDERS, DUMB GEN Z, TIK TOK, WE NEED JESUS!

  • 1
  • Cow

  • A person went to tell a joke: "Knock knock!" "Who’s there?" "I don’t remember!" (I think we need to moove on to the next joke now.)

    I just now made this one up! Then I realized it is in the cow category, so I added the moove on part! 😂

    Alphabet

  • Dang... if I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put D IN U ;)

    I only know there are 25 letters in the alphabet, I don't know Y.

    (Me: How many letters are in the alphabet?) -- (Friend: 11- T-H-E-- A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T)

    (Me: There are 20 letters in the alphabet, right?) -- (Crush: No, there is actually 26.) -- (Me: oooOoh, I forgot u r a qt! So its acdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz?) -- (Crush: You forgot the D) -- (Me: That's not needed yet ;])

    What letter is really hot? T

    C = cOCK O = CoCK C = COcK K = COCk COCK = cock cock = COCK

    ME SExUAL SRrY LoL

  • 5
  • Mom

  • Your mom is so fat that when she stood on a scale, it said, "We need an actual person, not an elephant!"

    Mama

  • Yo mama so fat, when she got on the scale it said, “I need your weight, not your phone number.”