Need jokes
An astronaut has had a mid-life crisis. He decides to leave everything behind and become a country farmer.
He buys some land and equips himself with everything he needs. The following Monday, he's ready to go with his hoe in hand and is about to walk out the gate, but he can't get through.
Why, you might ask? He's got no arms.
My sister said, "LET'S GO TO PIZZA!" So, I went to the pizza shop with her and she replied, "We really only needed the car?"
Popular girl: Sorry I'm late.
Teacher: Why are you late!
Girl: I need my beauty sleep.
Nerd: Well, you might need to hibernate because you ain't pretty.
Man: Why can't an orphan use Verizon?
Kid: I don't know why.
Man: Because they have a family plan.
Kid: Well, I need to get another phone service now.
"I need help, George Sink," said Jimmy.
"What is it?" said George Sink.
"Can you wash my dishes?" said Jimmy.
Like for bonuses if you are following me and you have the best explanation
Me: Spanish teacher, why do we need to learn Spanish?
Teacher: Because you might go to Mexico and start a job.
Me: Why would I want to sell drugs?
Drake has too much meat. Donate to the people in need.
I wish I could follow you, though.
But you need an account so I could follow you, but you don't have one. :'(
Your hairline's so far back, you need binoculars to see it.
Man, your hairline is so far back, archaeologists couldn't find it.
Your mother is so fat, she doesn’t need...
I hope Stephen Hawking was an organ donor, 'cause I need some parts for my go-cart.
"You need to cease, all those fat cuz u obese."
As a son, I am so worried about the phone call message that my mom got from a member of The CDC. It was on speaker, so me and mom both hear. The message told my mom that she needs to personally isolate because two of the new symptoms is having big titties and a great personality.
Your hairline is so bad when you need a role model who has been having a tough life, you go to your barber.
Police: Come with me, I’m taking you home.
Orphan: Well, we need to find them first.
Police: Then I don’t need to take you home.
🎵Penaldo Thrills🎵
C’mon c’mon turn the VAR on.
It's Penalty time and it won't be long.
Gotta dive and cry some more.
It's Penalty time and it won't be long.
‘Til I Hit the floor and dive alot.
Cry some more and dive alot. That all I need, because I got u my love, Penalty.
Me at an orphanage: I need to talk.
Orphan: My parents!
Me: You know that word?
An orphan walks into a bar and the barman says, "What are you doing here? You need parent's permission!"
"Oh no, who will I ask?" the orphan says.
What plate do you need to eat in a car? A license plate!
Have you ever met a kid who’s so fat that they can’t even be accepted to “My 600lb Life”? They need a higher-ranking one!