Don't see why people say that babysitting a toddler is hard. You just grease the bathtub, put them inside with some food and drink, and go do your business. I guarantee you that they will still be there when you return.
If you stay in the house, you might need to use sound cancelling headphones too, though.
So Jesus has been nailed to the cross.
On the first day, he starts to moan, "Peter, Peter!"
Well, Peter hears Jesus moaning and feels it is important, so begins to go up the hill. On his way, he is met by some Roman soldiers and they proceed to beat his ass back down the hill.
On the second day, Peter hears Jesus moaning again, "Peter, Peter!"
Peter thinks to himself, this is important. He heads up the hill, fights past the first line, but gets a beatdown by the second group and back down the hill he goes.
On the third day, Peter is woken up by Jesus sounding very weak, but calling out, "Peter, Peter!"
Peter feels that whatever it is that Jesus needs him for must be very important. Peter heads up the hill, he is on a mission. He manages to fight his way thru three sets of Roman guards and make his way to the cross Jesus has been nailed to for three days. He looks up to Jesus and says, "Jesus, I have heard your calls, what is so important?"
Jesus- "Peter, I can see your house from here!"
A man in Saudi Arabia was caught stealing hand sanitiser.
The silver lining for him is that he will not need hand sanitiser anymore!
What’s the best part about fucking a dead bitch?
You don’t need consent.
Bank owner: If you want to start a bank account, I need your name.
Guy: Robin
Bank owner: Your last name?
Guy: Debank
Bank owner: Robin Debank?
Guy: Put your hands up and give me all the money!
I told my mum that a few guys tell me that you're a MILF.
My mom said what that is. I reply, "Mom, I'd Like To Fuck." My mum started out to laugh, then she told me, "Well, now you need a new stepdad."
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Discord.
Discord who?
I need discord to plug in the phone.
💔 The Broken Family 💔 . Part 1
Girl: Mom, dad tried to have sex with me last night.
Mom: Are you serious?? (Shocked)
Girl: Yah. He said I must kiss him after he didn't want to let me go.
Mom: Am gonna kill ur dad (Angry)
Girl: Please mom, we still need him, who will buy use food and clothes. You don't have a job mom.
Mom: But what he did was wrong.
Girl: I know.
(SOUND OF A CAR COMING IN)
Mom: Is that ur dad.
Girl: Yes Mom
Comment Part 2
"You need to cease, all those fat cuz u obese."
What’s the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus?
You only need 1 nail to hang a painting!
The orphan wanted to go on a field trip, but he needed his parent's signature.
Why couldn’t the underage orphan get on an adult-only website? Because you need your parents' consent.
Why can't an orphan get a vaccine?
They need parental permission.
I wish Stephen Hawking was an organ donor. I need some parts for my laptop.
Guys, we need to stop telling orphan jokes, they're gonna tell their parents. Oh wait, never mind, continue.
Are you a professor? I have a theory about sex that I need to test on someone.
If a person kills their counselor, does that mean that they don't need therapy anymore?
Why can’t an orphan go to a youth church? Because they need a parent to pick them up.
This is true. Today I was at the mall and there was a guy holding a sign that said, "Need money for strippers and weed."
Why can't orphans go to school? They need their parents to sign them up.
