Need jokes
"Alex! We need to talk! Now!"
Alya, I need to talk to you now. If you don't reply, I will kermit the not living, and if you don't think I will, I will post your OnlyFans photos I get every month for $5.99 a week (high price if you ask me)!
What do cake and baseball have in common?
Both need batters.
I need to get new shoes; one of these isn’t right.
Why can’t orphans go on field trips? Because they need parent permission.
What’s one thing women need to know nowadays?
Their place.
When a woman says, "I need to be treated like a delicate flower," don't cut the wrong cord on the bomb.
How many CIA agents does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
They don't need lightbulbs--they glow in the dark.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your wife needs Jon Grudon, too.
You're so fat you need butter to get in the car.
Is their [there] a doctor anywhere?
My mom has a few problems & those problems is [are] that my mom has big tits, fat ass & sweet pussy that needs attention. Help anyone.
*gets hit by a car*
Passerby: "ARE YOU OKAY?"
Me: "Please...I need my...phone."
*opens twitter*
Me: "LMFAOOOOOOO YALL GUESS WHAT"
God needed an extra two hands to make your fat ass of a mother.
What do you call a special needs kid with a motorcycle?
Motor disease.
You don't need a parachute to go skydiving, just to go skydiving twice.
Your mama is so fat, she needs two phones to take a picture of herself.
The Emo kid wanted to go on a field trip, but he needed his parent's signature.
I'll never forget my grandpa's last words:
"You need to park a little closer."
Bill Clinton and Joe Biden are on a sinking ship.
Joe Biden says we need to save the women and children. Bill Clinton says, "Screw the women and children." Joe Biden says, "Do we have that much time?"
LEO is the reason the gene pool needs a lifeguard.