Need

Need jokes

iPhone

New Gen iPhones are designed for orphans, because they don’t need a home button.

Mom

Your mom is so fat that when she went on the scale, it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"

Orphan

I was an orphan as a kid, but I have never had a bitch, so I asked this cheerleader to homecoming, and she said, "Mofo, you are only coming to hoco because you need a home to go to!"

Memes

Orphan

Police: Come with me, I’m taking you home.

Orphan: Well, we need to find them first.

Police: Then I don’t need to take you home.

Math

Why are Amoebas so bad at math?

Because, when they need to multiply, they divide.

Orphan

Why can’t orphans pick up their phone after school?

Because they need their parents to go pick it up.

Gram

Teacher: How much is a gram?

Tyronne: Uhmm, depends on what you need.

Hairline

Your hairline is so bad when you need a role model who has been having a tough life, you go to your barber.

Woman

Why is it that skinny men like fat women?

Because they need warmth in winter, and shade in summer.

Brother

A brother and sister were hanging out, and the brother was sad, so the sister asked why. The brother replies with, "I think I need to break up with you!"

Uncle Jack

If your uncle Jack needed help getting off of a horse, would you help your uncle Jack off a horse?

Flirt

Don't flirt when there is Life Alert!

Edna: Hey there big boy!

Big boy: You need to stop doing this.