America: "WE NEED MORE AMMO!"
Japan: "We are the ammo."
Need Jokes
F*** man, I just need a f***ing loli to walk all over me!
Your mom is so fat that when she went on the scale, it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"
I was an orphan as a kid, but I have never had a bitch, so I asked this cheerleader to homecoming, and she said, "Mofo, you are only coming to hoco because you need a home to go to!"
To whoever stole my antidepressants, why do you need them?
Your hairline is so far back I need binoculars to see it!
Police: Come with me, I’m taking you home.
Orphan: Well, we need to find them first.
Police: Then I don’t need to take you home.
Yo mama so fat, she needs two watches for each timezone.
What did the orphan say to his stepmom?
"I need help."
Why are Amoebas so bad at math?
Because, when they need to multiply, they divide.
Why can’t orphans pick up their phone after school?
Because they need their parents to go pick it up.
Teacher: How much is a gram?
Tyronne: Uhmm, depends on what you need.
Are you a mental hospital? Cause I need to be in you.
Your hairline is so bad when you need a role model who has been having a tough life, you go to your barber.
Why is it that skinny men like fat women?
Because they need warmth in winter, and shade in summer.
Titanic: ight, I need a place to CRASH tonight.
A brother and sister were hanging out, and the brother was sad, so the sister asked why. The brother replies with, "I think I need to break up with you!"
If your uncle Jack needed help getting off of a horse, would you help your uncle Jack off a horse?
Don't flirt when there is Life Alert!
Edna: Hey there big boy!
Big boy: You need to stop doing this.
My mom was cooking dinner and asked me if I could get her a cutting board.
"No, I need you to take off your shirt and lay on the island so I can cut some chicken."
