What was Stephen Hawking's mother's name?
Ilean.
What was the knight's name that sat at the round table?
Circumference.
What was Stephen Hawking's name before he got his disease?
Stephen Walkins.
What do you call someone with one arm and no legs?
Names.
A good dog name is Syndrome. That way when it tries attacking, you can yell, "Down, Syndrome!"
What do you call a convict in prison for touching little girls? A boy named Brandon.
Why is September 11th the best birthday ever? No one forgets it :)
There was a guy called Manners, one called Poo, and one called Shut Up.
One day, Manners was on his way to pick up Poo from school. A police officer stopped Shut Up and said:
Police: "What’s you name?"
Shut Up: "Shut Up."
Police: "Where's your manners?!"
Shut Up: "Picking up Poo."
So this guy named Andrew Furda was my boyfriend for like a half a week, so five days. Then bam, I cut my hair. He only liked me for my looks, and I hoped he regrets it because it is WAR, so if you see this, you're going down, Andrew!
Why did Oliver have no friends?
His last name was Clothesoff, and all the other kids would get in trouble whenever they would ask to play with Oliver Clothesoff.
A father is talking to his three kids.
Kid 1: Why is my name Rose?
Dad: Because when you were a kid, a rose fell on your head.
Kid 2: Why is my name Lily?
Dad: Because a lily fell on your head when you were a baby.
Kid 3: Auughhghhhggghhh!
Dad: Oh hey, Brick.
Guy is at athletic meet. Asks guy if he is a pole vaulter.
He replies, "No I am German and how did you know my name was Walter?"
Good afternoon. My name is Russell, and I am a wilderness explorer of Tribe 54, Sweat Lodge 12. Are you in need of any assistance today, sir?
Rape jokes are not funny.
Look at my name by the way😁.
Why did C.S.C fail the Trig test? Cosecant remember his own name! Mwahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
Bank owner: If you want to start a bank account, I need your name.
Guy: Robin
Bank owner: Your last name?
Guy: Debank
Bank owner: Robin Debank?
Guy: Put your hands up and give me all the money!
GRAVEYARD SAVINGS:
While leafing through our local newspaper, I noticed this classified ad: “For sale: one used tombstone. Splendid opportunity for a family named Dingle.”
A guy tells his pal, "My wife is expecting. We're going to the clinic to see if it's a girl or a boy."
"Congrats, man. What are you gonna name it if it's a boy?"
"We're going with Trevor."
"Ok, what if it's a girl?"
"Then we'll have an abortion."
What is the difference between a car and a tree?
A tree cannot drive, but a car can drive.
My friend has a dog who looks like cocoa. Her name is Cocoa!
